Some People Don’t Like Me and That’s A Good Thing!

Most of the time, my filter doesn’t work. I have to say what I need to say. Not to humiliate people but I just need to speak my mind. I can be brutally frank and it’s too late to care (sometimes) how people would feel when I say something. Yes, I can be a total bitch sometimes (or often, that depends on how you define a bitch!)) but I’m not about to change anytime soon, whether that makes people like me or not.

We grew up believing that we need to belong somewhere in this world. The need to be a part of something else, of something bigger than ourselves. And alongside this, the need to be liked or wanted by people.

I remember a panel interview I had when I was just starting to create a life of my own back in Manila. While waiting for my turn (since I always arrive early in any appointments because I hate being late and people who come late), the HR coordinator came in the waiting room telling me and the other interviewees some information she called “tips” about the interviewers. I remember her saying, “Miss M is this kind of woman to work with so you should be like this. Mr. H on the other hand is like this. Another Mr. H is the same. Mr. O is pretty much like this and that. You should adjust to what they require of you, change your attitude to please and impress them and make them like you.”

That made me think the whole time I was waiting. And I’m still reminded of it even these days when some salesmen visit the office offering their company products and services. I’ve encountered a number of salesmen selling their products explaining the features, offers and benefits that come with it and when we start asking whether the product has this or that, even those that are NOT actually included becomes suddenly a part of what they’re offering. Later on, after buying and using the product and you contact them again because of malfunctions whatsoever, it becomes a problem. Why?  Because of the unnecessary promises and warranty or replacements promised that the salesman mentioned comes with the product doesn’t actually exist or can not be actually included in the item in the first place. In short, they just tried to please you or convince you at that time in order to sell their items. They’re salesmen after all! But the problem it created afterwards does not only affect the salesman himself and the customer, it could create a problem for his superiors and the company itself.

So the same thing pretty much happened in that panel interview. Three of us were interviewed by five interviewers. It was pretty funny to me because the other two interviewees were inconsistent and kept changing their answers in order to please every single one of the interviewers. They seem to be reinventing themselves every time another interviewer asked them a question. They turned out to be ass-kissers in the interview. I think that’s terrible. I mean, they seem to be not sure of themselves or what they’ve got to offer. If I were the interviewer, I’d be second-guessing whether or not I can depend on them to do the job I’m hiring them for. I guess if you try to be everything to everyone, you lose the unique person that you are. Every time you change yourself or what you’re offering just to please people or whenever dismissal is looming in simply shows (for me) that you’re not clear about yourself, what you are offering and/or the value of it.

Anyway, they picked me for the job. Three of the interviewers pretty much liked me, the other two clearly did not. But I didn’t accept the job offer. Why? Just because.

Being on the receiving end of a shitty situation recently, I’ve realized that I still don’t care (and wouldn’t care) if people don’t like me. It’s safer that way as far as I’m concerned. It allows me to be true to myself and what I feel and that’s all that matters to me now. I can freely express myself regardless of what other people think or say. This is me, I’m clear about who I am and what I want and what I can do or offer to people. If people don’t like it, it’s okay. If they do, then good! 🙂 I don’t have to change for other people. If ever I will change, I’d have a pretty good reason for myself why I will.

Sometimes, it’s not easy to say no to people that we end up saying yes even if we don’t want to. Maybe it’s human nature, most of us don’t want to feel selfish by saying no, sometimes we just choose to be kind so we say yes. I’ve always believed I have all the right to say no without feeling guilty. As long as I say no in a nice way, I think that doesn’t make me a jerk. And when people don’t like me, it gives me more power to say no wherever and whenever I need to a lot easier.

One other good thing when people don’t like me is that I learn more about myself. It teaches me what I can become, what I can do, thus, giving me more self-confidence and other people’s influence become lesser.

Knowing that I’m worthy of other people’s energy is another good thing when people don’t like me. 😉 For them to be using their precious time talking about me probably means I’m somehow affecting them. Oh, that’s flattering! 😉

Bottom line is, I don’t really care if people like me or not. I make no apology for that. People usually love me or hate me all my life and I actually really love this about myself. Not everyone’s gonna like me and that’s okay. People’s judgments have no bearing on me, what they say about me is none of my business. I choose not to waste my time on people who don’t like me. I’m not on this earth for them. I’ll just continue doing my thing.

Happy day, homo sapiens!

Quote of the Week

Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when you sleep, really to sleep. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell. And when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.

-Ernest Hemingway

Breakfast for Dinner

I had a date with my preggy friend last Thursday and decided to dine in IHOP which is actually one of the few places I go to alone very often. It’s my friend’s first time there and she kinda feels weird having breakfast meals for dinner. But then she said, that’s to be expected whenever she’s with me. (Okay, friend. I’ll take it as a compliment!)

I think those who know me can tell right away which one’s mine… 😉

Six Text Messages I Never Sent You

Hey!

1. It’s been months since the last time we talked. Really talked. The kind of conversation we used to have, the one I like, I enjoy. The kind of conversation that attracted me to you. It’s nice and fun reading those threads of text messages but it saddens me at the same time. Little did I know that would be the last day I’d enjoy a chat/conversation with you. If I paid more attention that day, would I have seen signs at least that it would be the last? I don’t know. I just think now that it’s a terrible thing really how we throw away people. A terrible thing, being thrown away. Why don’t we talk anymore? Why’d you stop talking to me? I wish I could get or come up with even a flake of an answer…

2. I have been wondering what have you been up to since then. Did you get a new job? Or are you still doing the same thing? Are you staying here or did you fly somewhere else? Do you still do the things I’ve known you love doing or have you discovered new ones? Many times I’m tempted to call you, I was so close to pressing that call button. But I’m afraid you won’t answer, afraid that you’d cancel. But I almost did. I always remind myself that if you want to talk to me, you will. I just kind of miss that personalized notification tone from you and the ringtone when you’re the one calling.

3. You know, there’s always something around me that reminds me of you. Whether I’m at home, at work, in a coffee shop, in a restaurant… There’s always something that makes me remember you. It makes me feel like an idiot sometimes. Some days I wish I’d bump into you in places we used to frequently go to but sometimes I also hope not to because I’m not sure how I’d feel or what I’d do when I see you. Every working day on my way home, I pass by the place that reminds me so much of you. It always leaves a smile on my face but lately, it makes my mouth curve down, too.

4. You’ll always be one of my favorite people. Always. I hope someday, you find it in your heart to forgive me if I, in any way, did you any wrong. I still wish we could be friends. I’d give up anything for a second chance. Damn, I miss you like hell!

5. Thank you and I really hope you’re happy. Well, I know you are. You should be. There’s nothing you want that you can’t have. Nothing you want to do that you can’t do. You’ve got everything and could have anything within your grasp so I hope all your dreams come true.

6. Lastly, I have never said this but yes, I love you. I really do.

If We Were Having Coffee #2

If we were having coffee…

…I’d tell you I’m surprised that you’re drinking coffee now.

If we were having coffee…

…I’d tell you it’s nice catching up with each other’s lives over a cup of coffee, not beer.

If we were having coffee…

…I’d tell you you have always been the nicest among us three since we were children.

If we were having coffee…

…I’d tell you I’m glad I always share my secrets to you first.

If we were having coffee…

…I’d tell you please take care of yourself, too. You’ve done more than enough for us that you deserve to think about yourself as well.

If we were having coffee…

…I’d tell you you can always count on me, too! I will always be here to listen and support. I’ve got your back! You know that! 🙂

If we were having coffee…

…I’d tell you I love you and I’m so lucky I’ve got you, the best big brother in the whole world! 🙂

Unstoppable: My Life So Far by Maria Sharapova

maria-sharapova-unstoppable-book-cover-2017-0I am not a big fan of Maria Sharapova but I’m a big tennis fan. She won’t even be on my top five favorites but given that she’s one of the hottest tennis players and one of the most popular faces on tour, I am curious to know about her story and thought this book would make me understand why she behaves the way she does. Before reading this, I was already aware of her accomplishments, of the injuries she had and the doping incident which caused her being banned from the circuit. I wasn’t aware, however, of how everything started for her, what drives her to play, what inspires her, what motivates her.

Unstoppable is Maria Sharapova’s memoir. She’s from Russia but moved to the US to train when she was six years old together with her father, in hopes to become a tennis superstar someday as her father believes she will be. She’s won five Grand Slam titles to date. She became an overnight sensation when she beat Serena Williams in the 2004 Wimbledon final as a seventeen year old. The book tells Maria’s share of highs and lows, struggle and success. From winning tournaments and Grand Slams, her rivalry with Serena Williams (it wasn’t much of a rivalry I think since Serena always beat her… well okay, one-sided rivalry?), her shoulder injury and of course, the doping incident.

I wasn’t a big fan of Maria before I read this and still not after, however, I admire her determination more now. It’s good to know and understand her and her journey. She is an accomplished player and definitely have a story of her own to tell.

Whether you’re a tennis fan or not, penned down in simple language with Rich Cohen, this is worth your time reading.

Quotable Quotes:

“As hard as I practice, I have learned that doing nothing is just as important as doing everything.”

“You can’t control what people say about you and what they think about you. You can’t plan for bad luck. You can only work your hardest and do your best and tell the truth. In the end, it’s the effort that matters. The rest is beyond your control.”

“I know what losing does to you. I’d learned its lessons on tennis courts all over the world. It knocks you down but also builds you up. It teaches you humility and gives you strength. It makes you aware of your flaws, which you then must do your best to correct. In this way, it can actually make you better. You become a survivor. You learn that losing is not the end of the world.”

“What sets the great players apart from the good players? The good players win when everything is working. The great players win even when nothing is working even when the game is ugly; that is, when they are not great. Because no one can be great every day. Can you get it done on the ugly days, when you feel like garbage and the tank is empty?”

“There is no perfect justice, not in this world. You can’t control what people say about you and what they think about you. You can’t plan for bad luck. You can only work your hardest and do your best and tell the truth. In the end,it’s the effort that matters. The rest is beyond your control.”

Rating: 4/5 stars

The Sunshine Blogger Award #3

Huge thanks to Himani for this sweet Sunshine Blogger Award and for following my blog! I do appreciate it a lot! You can visit her blog here to see her sketches and stuff. 🙂

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The Rules:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you in a blog post and link back to their blog.
  2. Answer the 11 questions sent by the person who nominated you.
  3. Nominate 11 new blogs to receive the award and write them 11 new questions.
  4. List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award logo in your post and/or your blog.

Let’s start of with the nominees first:

Sohair

Mbura

Daksha

Brown Girl on a Budget

Dilip

Saranya

Mariam

Orange

Mahesh

Love’s Deep Waters

Divya

My 11 Questions for the nominees are: 

  1. Describe yourself in three words.
  2. What’s your worst habit?
  3. Are you an early bird or a night owl?
  4. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
  5. One thing that’s on your bucket list.
  6. What’s the most unusual meal you had?
  7. What is something that you feel passionate about?
  8. Do you believe in afterlife?
  9. What is something you’ve recently learned?
  10. What’s your hometown like?
  11. Which among my blog posts do you like most?

Now here are my answers for Himani’s questions:

1) What is special about your place you grew up?

I was raised in my hometown, Baguio City. For one, it’s the summer capital of the Philippines owing it to its cool climate since it’s situated 5000 feet above sea level. It’s a small city but is classified highly urbanized. I love most of all the simplicity of life there specially when I was younger. The place is always up-to-date with the recent developments but still maintains the simplicity and relaxing atmosphere I grew up from.   

2) If you know today is the last day of your life..how will you spend your day?

Hmmm… I’d probably meet all my closest friends, eat and drink a lot! Then I’ll spend an hour or two reading random pages from my favorite books, hit a few tennis balls, then go home to my family, eat (again) my mom’s best dishes chat with them until my last breathing moment.

3) What is worth spending more on to get the best? 

Food! I don’t mind spending much on food as long as it satisfies me.

4) What do you wish to be born  in your next life, again as a human being or any other creature?

I wish to be born as a dolphin! 🙂

5) What do you love about yourself the most?

My resilience in times of adversity.

6) If you had to be on a reality tv show, which one would you choose?

Dancing with the Stars, MasterChef, Survivor. 

7) Where do you see yourself in next 5 years? 

I hopefully have my own business already.

8) If you could buy one material thing and money was not an issue, what would it be?

If money weren’t an issue, I want to buy as much stocks as I could. I also want to buy a castle that’s still retained its original design and everything! And all the books I want to read! I know you asked for just one but forgive me. Haha!  

9) What’s the best way to comfort you when you’re having a really terrible day?

Very good food and black coffee. 

10) Which food you’ll not eat under any circumstances? 

I can’t think of any because I love food. There’s almost nothing I don’t like. 🙂 Just don’t give me pure cheese to eat. I’m not really a fan of cheese.

11) If you didn’t have to sleep,  what would you do with extra time? 

Read! There are a lot of books I want to read but I don’t have that much free time to do so… Or I’d probably learn how to ride a bike!

~~~

So there you have it! Once again, thanks a lot, Himani!

Enjoy the day, homo sapiens! 🙂

Quote of the Week

Rejection is about the other person: it’s a reflection of their mistaken perception. If they don’t want to hang around with you, it’s their loss. Feel sorry for them. They got it wrong. Focus on the ones who made the smart move.

-Owen Fitzpatrick

If We Were Having Coffee #1

If we were having coffee…

… for sure we’re both having brewed.

If we were having coffee…

… I’d ask you how have you been since you left and how I’ve been since then.

If we were having coffee…

… I’d tell you what could’ve been if life turned out differently for both of us.

If we were having coffee…

… I’d tell you how difficult it was losing you and how it felt to be so lonely.

If we were having coffee…

… I’d thank you for all the years we’ve shared together.

If we were having coffee…

… I’d tell you to love her more than you’ve loved me.

If we were having coffee…

… I’d tell you I’ve already forgiven you. I’ve already forgiven myself. And I’m completely and honestly okay now.

~~~

Some of the realest conversations I’ve ever had in my life were made over a cup of coffee (or tea for the other person) and usually last for hours. I’ve decided to do a series of this post where I’d be referring to different individuals I’ve met or encountered in my life. This first post for this series is for the person I’ve dated for a little bit more than seven years.

How about you? If we were having coffee, what would you tell me? Feel free to drop a line or two in the comment section. 🙂

Happy day, homo sapiens!

Mental Detox, My Way

There’s so much hype everywhere on how to detox our body from the food we eat or products we use that harm our health. Detox could probably be the most popular word in terms of wellness these days but to be quite honest, I don’t do any body detoxification thingy. Really. I know it’s essential to our bodies but I’d get to that some time later. I find detoxing my mind more necessary. Our brains construct what actions to take so I find it very important to take care of my mind.

I am blessed to have had the pleasure of living a carefree and adventure-filled childhood. By adventure, I don’t mean magic carpet rides and stuff, I just mean exploring the beauty of the vast outdoors. Hiking, boating, kite-flying, bicycling (though I only hitch with my dad because I never learned how to!), horseback riding, name it and I’ve probably done or tried it. Then life happened. Adulthood started to loom over me quite a bit early.  The stress caused by sudden life changes at that time almost had me lose control of my mind. I’m a girl who overthinks things way too much. It’s just me, that’s just the way I am. So I got used to working my ass off no matter what it takes whenever I want to achieve something or get things done. I have always been that stubborn, hard-working but still happy-go-lucky girl in my world full of chaos.

Fortunately, I’m able to learn and take better control of my mind soon enough instead of falling into the trap of overthinking and stress. I’ve developed doing a mental detox from time to time and I find it is just as important as a body detox. Here’s what I usually do to release toxic thoughts that cloud my mind…

Taking a break from social media.

Nowadays, whether you’re into twittering, or photo-sharing or simply sharing everything worth-sharing (or not) to the public, there’s just the right social media application right for you. That’s just the world today. (I don’t have a Facebook account. I’ve just very recently signed up with Twitter and I’m inactive most of the time. I occasionally post on Instagram which I’ve also set on private.) The thing is, social media is associated with lots of bad stuff BUT it is associated with lots of good stuff as well. However, people these days consume a lot more time on it.

I strongly believe that we need to take a step back from social media once in a while. Shut down. This gives us the chance to connect to ourselves and to the people around us more. I really miss going out for lunch or dinner with friends without a mobile phone on the dining table, having in-depth conversations with them, asking questions and thinking of answers without searching the internet. Connecting to the real world, creating memories, experiencing things for the sake of experience and not for the purpose of posting on social media.

Taking long walks.

Walking helps me a lot to clear my head. Whenever I’m stressed from work or had an argument with someone, I try my best to go for a walk. When my longest relationship came to an end, walking has been a vital part of moving on. I’d spent at least an hour walking early in the morning or in the afternoon after work in the exit stairs of the apartment building. When I was left hanging clueless, I can’t bring myself to take a walk to be able to move on and let go. Why? I really don’t know. Eventually though, I was able to pick myself up again and started walking up and down the stairs as usual.

Moreover, walking always changes/improves my mood. After a manic day at work, I sometimes feel stressed so I go for a walk. Sometimes, my weekends are so boring that I feel so homesick, I go out for a walk. Walking does change/improve my mood in such situations.

Saying goodbye to toxic people.

I’ve had my fair share of toxic people in my life. I find it unhealthy when I’m in the company of people who make me feel less than myself. People, even so-called friends, who create drama and act like poison to my mind. Thank heavens, I find it easier now to get rid of such kind of people. And whenever I get rid of them, I’m always happier and drama-free!

Traveling.

This is my  most favoured way of having a total mental detox. I don’t hold back on calories when I travel and I don’t feel guilty about it. Food makes my world go ’round! I taste every possible food there is in places I travel to and that way, I’m able to relax and clear my mind completely! Also, discovering new places is surely relaxing. It rejuvenates my mind and it’s uplifting. It gives me a different view of life, a different perspective. I always come back from a trip wiser, refreshed and happier.

Cleaning and rearranging my room.

I don’t really like routine, I find it lethal. So even in cleaning my room, there’s no specific day/schedule and I rearrange my room any given moment I feel like doing it but most specially when I’m feeling out of sorts. When I rearrange my room in such a way that it makes sense to me at that particular moment, adding or removing stuff, it gives me great satisfaction and lifts my mood. It also helps me to identify what I really love having in my room, what I need and what I don’t. (It’s not always easy for me throwing things even when they’re useless already so I keep them all in storage boxes and just open and reminisce whenever I feel like it.) So even though you like routine, a bit of a change here and there once in a while will do your mind a lot of good.

Reading.

Reading (books, in general) has always been a big part of my self-development and has always been my favorite entertainment. And though there are never-ending distractions due to the world’s advancement in technology, reading is something I can’t remove from my system. Books are very powerful that they’re able to change and transform lives. It still is my favorite entertainment and definitely one of the best ways to relax and calm my mind. Not only do I feel better and relaxed, I always learn something new, too. Reading feeds my always hungry mind, engages and broaden my imagination,  stimulates my mind, expands my vocabulary and a whole lot more.

Taking some me time.

For the past six months or so, I’ve been actually telling myself more often to be selfish. I just thought, sometimes, it ain’t bad if it has to be all about me. Self-care is a necessity so I don’t feel guilty pampering myself. From June last year until early January, I’ve cut my hair thrice and dyed it twice. (I don’t really cut my hair very often and never tried dying it until 2016!) There was also a time when I’ve had my nails painted different colors weekly. I was never a fan of nail polishing until middle of last year and it’s actually fun. So the main idea here is do what gives you joy, either doing what you’ve always wanted doing or trying something new.

Writing a journal.

Though I’ve entirely stopped keeping a journal, I would still recommend doing so. I’ve been writing a journal for years, I loved it and I must say that being able to get all my thoughts and feelings on paper, good or bad. is a very effective way to declutter my mind. Writing honestly about how I feel helps my brain overcome emotional upsets. Scribbling a few lines of poetry like six-word stories or haikus, which I personally do, also helps.

~~~

I don’t claim to be an expert on mental detox but I find this worth sharing with you because I see good effect and development on myself since I started doing a regular mental detox. I get to focus on positive thoughts more each day and able to reconnect with myself more and more.

Do you guys do a mental detox as well? Share your tricks, too, in the comment section. I’d be happy to read them.

Thanks for reading and have a great day, homo sapiens! 🙂

Quote of the Week

Better never means better for everyone… It always means worse, for some.

-Margaret Atwood

Liebster Award #6

Hello there! Today’s post is another Liebster and I want to thank Zovi for this! Do check out her blog here if you haven’t yet! Lots of nice stuff to read there! 🙂

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The Rules:

  1. Create a new post thanking the person who nominated you, links to their blog. Include award graphic.
  2. Answer the questions provided.
  3. Make a new set of 11 questions for your nominees to answer.
  4. Nominate 11 others and share your post with them so they see it.

The Questions from Zovi and My Answers:

What gets you through a bad day (or everyday)?

Food, coffee and a great conversation.

Who has been your role model? Why?

Oh I don’t remember having any role models growing up or even now that I’m an adult. I greatly admire Ferdinand Marcos, though.

Would you rather have more time or money?

Money. I think I pretty much have time but not enough money to do the many things I want to do for myself and to help other people.

One word that describes you and your blog.

Real.

Which is the first book that made you cry?

The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini.

Does writing energize or exhaust you?

It relaxes me.

Do you think someone could be a writer if they don’t feel emotions strongly?

I really don’t know but in my case, I only get to write when I’m feeling too much.

If you could tell your younger writing self anything, what would it be?

As I always mention, I don’t really consider myself a writer but if there’s something I would tell my younger self… hmmm… “Do what you truly want in life that makes you happy no matter what it takes and regardless of what that looks like to other people.”

Which is your favorite post from my blog?

Stop Caring.

If you could bring back anyone from the dead, who would it be? Why?

Adolf Hitler because I have a lot of questions for him and to tell him that because of him, I won first place in an essay writing contest when I was in elementary school and some cash prize! 🙂

The Nominees:

Sneha

Priyanshu

Patrick

Paragtak

Maya

I know I should nominate 11 bloggers but I’m running out of time so I’m nominating everyone reading this as well! Or you can answer the questions in the comment section, too, for an interesting discussion. 🙂

My Questions:

  1. What’s one thing about you that surprises people?
  2. Where is your happy place?
  3. What’s your dream job?
  4. What are you most afraid of?
  5. The best way for you to relax.
  6. Your favorite movie.
  7. What are you most proud of?
  8. Has a book ever changed your life?
  9. What sports do you play?
  10. Where is the most interesting place you’ve been?
  11. What do you hope never changes?

Enjoy the day, homo sapiens! 🙂

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