When It Comes To You

People come and go.

Some stay for some time,

Some stay longer.

Either way,

They’re not there forever.

They come, they leave.

Some love us,

Others hurt us.

Some make us whole,

And when we’re lucky,

They stay.

Others break us though,

Then leave.

But eventually,

We get up again

And put all the broken pieces together.

We get used to them gone.

But why when it comes to you,

I’m finding it hard to get used to?

I’m Counting…

… from five to one as I hold you tight in my heart and in my mind, one last time because…

Five. I want to stop thinking I’m worthless because you left me hanging just like that. I refuse to be seen just the way you see or think of me because you never really bothered to know me.

Four. I wish to say your name again without feeling sad, without feeling hurt. I want to say your name again like it never meant anything at all.

Three. I have to stop replaying the day we first met. The night we first kissed. I want to stop thinking what could’ve been if I just left it at hello. I want to learn to accept everything that happened and why it was too easy for you to just end it that way.

Two. I want to stop avoiding my life because of the past. I want to go spend time in a cafe, restaurant or anywhere without the fear of running into you.

One. I need to accept that it’s my fault all of these happened. Trust has failed me many times in the past but I still chose to trust you then. And I will still continue to trust that someday, I will meet someone who will choose to stay.

And now, I’m letting go…

My First Kiss Went A Little Like This

cute-cartoon-boy-and-girl-are-kissing-vector-15321128
Photo found on Google. Credit to the owner.

Do you remember your first kiss? Yes, the very first! How nice was it? Or how terrible? Ideally, specially as teenagers, we expect our first kiss to be sweet and romantic! Or hot and wild! Intense! Oh dear! Locking lips with someone we like should send tingles up our spine and leave us feeling incoherent after.

Contrary to the perfect romantic first kisses I’ve either read, watched, imagined or hoped for, mine was a turn-off. Let me walk you down memory lane because my first kiss went a little like this…

My first kiss happened many moons ago, I was fourteen, he was sixteen. His name’s Andrew. He was my ultimate crush then and little did I know that he’s got a crush on me, too. We attended the same high school and we were both athletes. We’ve known each other by face and was only formally introduced to each other in a party after almost a year of smiles and hellos during training/practice or in the corridors.

We were dating for more than a month already when it happened. Since I belong to the science classes, he has to wait for me for about an hour until I finish my last class. After class that day, we went to the small garden just at the back of his classroom so he can help me with my homework. (I remember I suck in Biology and Chemistry then!) Once we’re done, we started walking while holding hands as he led me to his classroom door.

The touch: We were holding hands then he pulled me to him and pushed me gently against the classroom door then placed his left arm around my waist while his right hand caressed my face. (I liked that part!)

The ambiance: I never thought that my first kiss would be in the most romantic place in the world — in school, outside his classroom door! I mean, come on, I’ve imagined a kind of romantic setting, too. But definitely not in school!

The kiss: Well, our noses bumped at first and I was about to laugh but he kissed me right away and the first few tender brushes of his lips against mine was magic, it did really sent tingles up my spine and made all my body cells come to life until…

The tongue situation: Eeeewww! Just eeeewww! Oh boy! Was the tongue even supposed to be there??? It’s just wet! And sloppy! I was shocked! I wanted to punch him in the face!

The aftermath: Absolutely awkward. Confusing. Disappointing. In my mind, I’m trying to figure out what just happened. Funny thing is, I ended up having a very high fever that night and wasn’t able to go to school the next day!

So my first kiss didn’t happen according to plan but well, life isn’t a movie set. But in between homework and practice, the kisses got better, more quality kissing took over for the next two years.

So how was your first kiss? Was is sweet? Or was it terrible? How old were you then? Did it turn out the way you’ve imagined it to be? I’d love to hear, after all, what better time to delurk if not during first-kiss-story sharing time, right?

Quote of the Week

Lately I’ve been thinking about who I want to love, and how I want to love, and why I want to love the way I want to love, and what I need to learn to love that way, and who I need to become to become the kind of love I want to be…and when I break it all down, when I whittle it into a single breath, it essentially comes out like this: Before I die, I want to be somebody’s favorite hiding place, the place they can put everything they know they need to survive, every secret, every solitude, every nervous prayer, and be absolutely certain I will keep it safe. I will keep it safe.

~Andrea Gibson

Quote of the Week

I think some people are just inexplicably bonded. Drawn by forces beyond their own comprehension, they have no choice but to gravitate toward one another. Destined by fate to keep crossing paths until they finally get it right.

L.B. Simmons

Three Days, Three Quotes Challenge #6 – Day 2

Day 2 of my sixth Three Days, Three Quotes Challenge from Richa. If you haven’t checked her blog yet, visit here.

The Rules:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you.
  2. Post a quote for three consecutive days.
  3. Nominate three bloggers each day.

The Nominees:

faithfullyyours2017

Dynaxty

Saloni

You can’t measure the mutual affection of two human beings by the number of words they exchange.

-Milan Kundera

Quote of the Week

You don’t need another human being to make your life complete, but let’s be honest. Having your wounds kissed by someone who doesn’t see them as disasters in your soul but cracks to put their love into is the most calming thing in this world.

-Emery Allen

Three-Day Lyrical Challenge – Day 2

We are on Day 2 of the Three-Day Lyrical Challenge where I was tagged by Sonali. Do check out her blog here.

Today, I’m tagging Mariam, Karen and The_Aestheticspirit.

And my second song is:

100 Years by Five for Fighting

I’m fifteen for a moment
Caught in between ten and twenty
And I’m just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
I’m twenty two for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we’re on fire
Making our way back from Mars
Fifteen there’s still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
Fifteen, there’s never a wish better than this
When you only got hundred years to live
I’m thirty three for a moment
Still the man, but you see I’m of age
A kid on the way
A family on my mind
I’m forty five for a moment
The sea is high
And I’m heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life
Fifteen there’s still time for you
Time to buy, time to lose yourself
Within a morning star
Fifteen I’m all right with you
Fifteen, there’s never a wish better than this
When you only got hundred years to live
Half time goes by
Suddenly you’re wise
Another blink of an eye
Sixty seven is gone
The sun is getting high
We’re moving on
I’m ninety nine for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I’m just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
Fifteen there’s still time for you
Twenty two I feel her too
Thirty three you’re on your way
Every day’s a new day
Fifteen there’s still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey fifteen, there’s never a wish better than this
When you only got hundred years to live.

Well, this song could be interpreted in different ways but no matter how you look at it, there’s a very profound meaning. I probably wouldn’t have cared about this song when I was 15 for I still didn’t have enough context about life yet to understand it well. I understood it quite better and appreciate it a lot more as I grow older and thus became one of my all-time favorites.

Three-Day Lyrical Challenge – Day 1

Just when I thought I’d only get tagged in “quotes challenges,” I was tagged by Sonali to participate on this — The Three-Day Lyrical Challenge! Thanks a lot, Sonali. I’m delighted to do this challenge and to my readers, do check out her blog here if you haven’t yet.

For today, I’m tagging Elly, LifeOfAmalgation and Sohair.

So I guess, I would just have to choose three of my favorite songs and share each one a day. It’s not very easy to choose which three songs will make the cut but here’s the first one.

All I Ask by Adele 

I will leave my heart at the door
I won’t say a word
They’ve all been said before you know
So why don’t we just play pretend
Like we’re not scared of what’s coming next
Or scared of having nothing left

Look, don’t get me wrong
I know there is no tomorrow
All I ask is

If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I’m more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do
It matters how this ends
‘Cause what if I never love again?

I don’t need your honesty
It’s already in your eyes
And I’m sure my eyes, they speak for me
No one knows me like you do
And since you’re the only one that matters
Tell me who do I run to?

Look, don’t get me wrong
I know there is no tomorrow
All I ask is

If this is my last night with you

Hold me like I’m more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do
It matters how this ends
‘Cause what if I never love again?

Let this be our lesson in love
Let this be the way we remember us
I don’t wanna be cruel or vicious
And I ain’t asking for forgiveness
All I ask is

If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I’m more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do
It matters how this ends
‘Cause what if I never love again?

It’s funny how very much I love this song but hate what it reminds me of at the same time. Anyway, this is a very beautiful but heartbreaking song. I personally think that whatever the reason for the breakup, it’s always better not to end it ugly. I mean, it probably makes the parting easier to bear because the last memories you’ll have of each other are good ones. If only you could create a wonderful memory before it all ends because what if you never love again?

Quote of the Week

I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.

-Lisa Kleypas

A Six-Word Story

Thought he was my answered prayer.

A Six-Word Story

We don’t always get second chances.

Here’s What Happened

It’s an ordinary day.

I met a stranger.

He was nice. No hint of arrogance.

He sounded smart. Indeed, he really was.

I trusted him. Opened up to him.

Built a friendship like no other.

Became my favorite person.

Some days I look for reasons why we’ve met.

Reasons for why things happened.

Perchance to save me?

To offer me wisdom perhaps?

To teach me a lesson?

To hold me to keep me from falling?

Or to protect me from deeper pain?

I knew I might love this person.

But I also knew he’s not mine to keep.

It may be he didn’t come to save me.

But just to teach me save myself.

And eventually I learned how.

Then he started to drift away.

Just like that.

No explanation.

No goodbye.

Until we’re strangers once again.

Three Days, Three Quotes Challenge #3 – Day 1

Big thanks to Elma for this challenge. It’s pretty late but here it is. 🙂

The Rules:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you.
  2. Post a quote for three consecutive days, or whenever the mood strikes you.
  3. Tell why that quote appeal to you.
  4. Nominate three bloggers for each post.

The nominees:

Prakhar Bansal

Divya

Nidhi

If you can love someone with your whole heart, even one person, then there’s salvation in life. Even if you can’t get together with that person.

-Haruki Murakami

This quote is from Haruki Murakami’s book, 1Q84. This appeals quite much to me because of experience. I get to love someone with my whole heart even though I can’t be together with that person…

Quote of the Week

After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t mean security.

-Jorge Luis Borges

Six Text Messages I Never Sent You

Hey!

1. It’s been months since the last time we talked. Really talked. The kind of conversation we used to have, the one I like, I enjoy. The kind of conversation that attracted me to you. It’s nice and fun reading those threads of text messages but it saddens me at the same time. Little did I know that would be the last day I’d enjoy a chat/conversation with you. If I paid more attention that day, would I have seen signs at least that it would be the last? I don’t know. I just think now that it’s a terrible thing really how we throw away people. A terrible thing, being thrown away. Why don’t we talk anymore? Why’d you stop talking to me? I wish I could get or come up with even a flake of an answer…

2. I have been wondering what have you been up to since then. Did you get a new job? Or are you still doing the same thing? Are you staying here or did you fly somewhere else? Do you still do the things I’ve known you love doing or have you discovered new ones? Many times I’m tempted to call you, I was so close to pressing that call button. But I’m afraid you won’t answer, afraid that you’d cancel. But I almost did. I always remind myself that if you want to talk to me, you will. I just kind of miss that personalized notification tone from you and the ringtone when you’re the one calling.

3. You know, there’s always something around me that reminds me of you. Whether I’m at home, at work, in a coffee shop, in a restaurant… There’s always something that makes me remember you. It makes me feel like an idiot sometimes. Some days I wish I’d bump into you in places we used to frequently go to but sometimes I also hope not to because I’m not sure how I’d feel or what I’d do when I see you. Every working day on my way home, I pass by the place that reminds me so much of you. It always leaves a smile on my face but lately, it makes my mouth curve down, too.

4. You’ll always be one of my favorite people. Always. I hope someday, you find it in your heart to forgive me if I, in any way, did you any wrong. I still wish we could be friends. I’d give up anything for a second chance. Damn, I miss you like hell!

5. Thank you and I really hope you’re happy. Well, I know you are. You should be. There’s nothing you want that you can’t have. Nothing you want to do that you can’t do. You’ve got everything and could have anything within your grasp so I hope all your dreams come true.

6. Lastly, I have never said this but yes, I love you. I really do.

Quote of the Week

One thing I learned a long time ago is that even if you think you’re meant to be with someone, that doesn’t necessarily mean you get to be with them.

-Miranda Kenneally

Quote of the Week

To love or have loved, that is enough. Ask nothing further. There is no other pearl to be found in the dark fold of life.

-Victor Hugo

Quote of the Week

Two people who were once very close can without blame or grand betrayal become strangers. Perhaps this is the saddest thing in the world.

-Warsan Shire

Quote of the Week

The important people in our lives leave imprints. They may stay or go in the physical realm, but they are always there in your heart, because they helped form your heart. There’s no getting over that.

-Rachel Cohn

A Six-Word Story

I’m left with memories all alone.

A Six-Word Story

You and I, an unfinished business.

A Six-Word Story

Thought I’m okay. I thought wrong.

A Six-Word Story

Words left unsaid always stay forever.

Numb

How’d you break a heart

that’s long been broken? Poor heart.

It might just turn numb.

Quote of the Week

You sometimes think you want to disappear, but all you really want is to be found.

-Kid Cudi

A Six-Word Story

I’ve forgiven myself. Forgive yourself, too.

Quote of the Week

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.

-Elisabeth Kubler-Ross