Quote of the Week

Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answers.

-Rainer Maria Rilke

Quote of the Week

Not everything is supposed to become something beautiful and long-lasting. Sometimes people come into your life to show you what is right and what is wrong, to show you who you can be, to teach you to love yourself, to make you feel better for a little while, or to just be someone to walk with at night and spill your life to. Not everyone is going to stay forever, and we still have to keep on going and thank them for what they’ve given us.

-Emery Allen

People Watching

One of the most important things for me whenever I get the chance to travel is getting into the vibe of the place I’m visiting. And what best way to do this than to people-watch!  People-watching is something I find really entertaining to do. There’s no specific time of day (or night) to do it and you can actually do it anywhere. It’s harmless. It’s free! The only important thing to remember is don’t creep anyone out when you do this. 🙂

People-watching is not a hobby, for me at least! It isn’t something I always do when I have free time. And as I have mentioned, I just usually do it when I travel. I don’t plan when and where to people-watch, it just happens. Whether I’m on a street stall trying out different street foods, or when I drink in bars (or in the streets, too), in a park or even just when I’m sitting by the window of the hotel/hostel I’m staying in or more often in cafes. It mostly happens when I’m alone, though I must say, it’s really fun people-watching with friends. People-watching lets us see the beauty of people, whether as a group, as a couple or as an individual. If you’re lucky enough, you even get to see the details in a person. And so far for me, Vietnam is the best place to people-watch. Tourists either amazed or disgusted seeing things for the first time, locals on their daily routines, women in micro-mini skirts and sky-high heels riding scooters/motorbikes, persuasive (and aggressive) vendors, unusual street performers, school boys and girls either tired or brimming with joy that school is over.

What happened one Friday in January though was a first for me. I went to the airport, sat in a coffee shop and started reading. I’ve been trying to concentrate on my book for half an hour but some noise outside the coffee shop was bothersome. So I gave up.  Since I’ve been trying to use my phone mainly for calling and texting, I opted not to use it and decided to just people-watch. I don’t really people-watch here. Seriously, I don’t know why but it doesn’t interest me. But then I ordered another cup of black coffee, a cinnamon roll and started people-watching.

Fifteen minutes later, I got bored. Nothing seems to catch my attention. So I ate my cinnamon roll instead. I was about to go back to my reading when a couple around their late 20’s came in. They were in the counter for like 15 minutes and I think they’ve already asked the barista every  single type of coffee served there. I can clearly see how annoyed the tired-looking barista was already specially when they ended up ordering just two cups of American coffee. 🙂 The guy on the table beside mine smirked after hearing them order and muttered to me, “Finally, two American coffee!” I didn’t notice he was also observing them. We ended up chatting about the couple, coffee and books until he finally joined me on my table.

We continued to people-watch until a group of young guys arrived but just stood in front of the cafe, according to my companion (I’m not sure whether he mentioned his name or if I asked but I don’t really remember actually, I just know he asked mine), they were still waiting for one more friend and that the other friend prefers to go to Starbucks. They were speaking in Arabic in husky voices (so I didn’t really understand what they were talking about) and they were all wearing sweatpants and hoodies. One of the youngsters was wearing black-framed glasses and has curly black hair. The other two looked daft and arrogant. I didn’t notice them leave but my new friend whose name I didn’t get to know said they’ve decided to go to Starbucks.

My attention is now on an Asian woman sitting across our table, alone and very busy with her phone. Obviously, she’s going on vacation. She had her hair dyed and permed, her nails painted bloody red and she seems to be wearing all her jewelries. Haha! Then suddenly her phone rang. (I’m pretty sure even the people on the other side of the airport heard her phone ring! 😀 ) And her voice was like a foghorn, believe me. It’s too loud. I didn’t quite understand what she was saying because of the dialect she’s using but I’m pretty sure she’s angry. My new friend said it isn’t the first time she saw women like that in the airport so it doesn’t surprise him anymore. I kept my mouth shut. 🙂

I decided to leave a few minutes later to meet with some friends and we ended up hearing mass. I haven’t visited the church here since 2009 and I honestly didn’t feel quite comfortable, I don’t know why. So I ended up  eyeballing the people around me. The middle-aged couple in front of us kept on giggling for reasons we didn’t know. Sitting beside one of my friends was a plump lady who looks like in her late thirties was busy texting, smiling from time to time. I was surprised when she suddenly started taking selfies. An elderly man sitting at the back-most pew was dozing off. A woman leaning sideways to one of the pillars of the church seems to be staring blankly faraway. The mass ended and I didn’t understand a thing about the sermon. We waited for a while for the crowd to lessen before we went out. Just a few steps from the church’s main door was a Christmas tree where people, young and old, were trying to strike a pose. Children running around while screaming. Babies crying. People talking loudly. It didn’t feel much like I was in church premises, really. I kind of felt like I’m in a market. With my experience that day in the church, people-watching also lets us recognize how much the world has changed.

We later went to the fish market. I told my friends that I’m just gonna wait for them outside because I don’t feel like going around there. I sat in a bench munching some chips. There were two guys talking  near where I’m sitting. Both of them were tall, well-built, have beards and were wearing hoodies. One of them has a small, tribal sun tattoo on his left hand. I was about to turn my attention to something else when I heard one of them say, “I want to go back to Baguio.” My ears started to burn upon hearing this so I paid closer attention to them. Not only was I people-watching, I was also attentively eavesdropping. 🙂 I was pretty much able to hear nice and new things about Baguio and it made me really happy because Baguio is actually my hometown. So see, people-watching is a very informative activity, too. Haha!

People-watching is an entertaining thing to do really but I’d still prefer sticking my head on a book. But that Friday didn’t seem to be a good day to read thus I turned into a passive observer watching life go by. And now that I’ve tried it here, would I do it again? Maybe yes. Or maybe not again.

I’d be glad to hear your stories about people-watching, too, feel free to write them in the comment section.

Happy day, homo sapiens! 🙂

Three Days, Three Quotes Challenge #1 – Quote #3

Third and last day of the Three Days, Three Quotes Challenge and once again, thank you Shreya! Looking forward to the next challenges! 😉

The Rules:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you.
  2. Post a quote for three consecutive days.
  3. Nominate three other bloggers each day.

Some people we just outgrow. Relationships might end with no real explanation as to why. And when that happens, respect the shift. Honor the growth and understand that not all roots can stay planted in the same soil forever.

-Alex Elle

The Nominees:

Shayra

Sohair

Avni

Happy Wednesday, homo sapiens!

Three Days, Three Quotes Challenge #1 – Quote #2

Day 2 of the Three Days, Three Quotes Challenge. Thanks again, Shreya!

The Rules:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you.
  2. Post a quote for three consecutive days.
  3. Nominate three other bloggers each day.

Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it’s all over.

-Gloria Naylor

The Nominees:

Rudra Makwana

Nefelibata

Khushi

Happy Tuesday, homo sapiens!

Quote of the Week

The ones who notice the storms in your eyes, the silence in your voice and the heaviness in your heart are the ones you need to let in.

-Steve Maraboli

If We Were Having Coffee #3

If we were having coffee…

…we definitely have befriended one or two baristas already and are sharing with a complimentary cheesecake from them! Haha!

If we were having coffee…

…we’re definitely giggling to death already because of our inside jokes and stories we’ve invented about the people in the cafe.

If we were having coffee…

…we’re already planning a grand escapade to make up to the nine years that we haven’t seen each other. It could be a hike, a camping, a visit to an amusement park, anything except the beach!

If we were having coffee…

…we will reminisce about how we’ve met, how we didn’t like each other at first, how we raised an eyebrow on each other, how we eventually became friends — best friends, our crushes, our loves, our heartaches and so on…

If we were having coffee…

…I’d be telling you what my life has been like since I left. The choices I’ve made, the decisions I had to take. How my life hasn’t been so easy at first, how I dealt with my problems, how hopeless I became and how I picked myself back up together again.

If we were having coffee…

…I’d say sorry for my shortcomings. I didn’t mean to not be there when you needed me. Life just got in the way, and I know you know that.

If we were having coffee…

…I’d thank you for being my best friend no matter how bitchy I get. Thank you for understanding that this is just the way I am.

Some People Don’t Like Me and That’s A Good Thing!

Most of the time, my filter doesn’t work. I have to say what I need to say. Not to humiliate people but I just need to speak my mind. I can be brutally frank and it’s too late to care (sometimes) how people would feel when I say something. Yes, I can be a total bitch sometimes (or often, that depends on how you define a bitch!)) but I’m not about to change anytime soon, whether that makes people like me or not.

We grew up believing that we need to belong somewhere in this world. The need to be a part of something else, of something bigger than ourselves. And alongside this, the need to be liked or wanted by people.

I remember a panel interview I had when I was just starting to create a life of my own back in Manila. While waiting for my turn (since I always arrive early in any appointments because I hate being late and people who come late), the HR coordinator came in the waiting room telling me and the other interviewees some information she called “tips” about the interviewers. I remember her saying, “Miss M is this kind of woman to work with so you should be like this. Mr. H on the other hand is like this. Another Mr. H is the same. Mr. O is pretty much like this and that. You should adjust to what they require of you, change your attitude to please and impress them and make them like you.”

That made me think the whole time I was waiting. And I’m still reminded of it even these days when some salesmen visit the office offering their company products and services. I’ve encountered a number of salesmen selling their products explaining the features, offers and benefits that come with it and when we start asking whether the product has this or that, even those that are NOT actually included becomes suddenly a part of what they’re offering. Later on, after buying and using the product and you contact them again because of malfunctions whatsoever, it becomes a problem. Why?  Because of the unnecessary promises and warranty or replacements promised that the salesman mentioned comes with the product doesn’t actually exist or can not be actually included in the item in the first place. In short, they just tried to please you or convince you at that time in order to sell their items. They’re salesmen after all! But the problem it created afterwards does not only affect the salesman himself and the customer, it could create a problem for his superiors and the company itself.

So the same thing pretty much happened in that panel interview. Three of us were interviewed by five interviewers. It was pretty funny to me because the other two interviewees were inconsistent and kept changing their answers in order to please every single one of the interviewers. They seem to be reinventing themselves every time another interviewer asked them a question. They turned out to be ass-kissers in the interview. I think that’s terrible. I mean, they seem to be not sure of themselves or what they’ve got to offer. If I were the interviewer, I’d be second-guessing whether or not I can depend on them to do the job I’m hiring them for. I guess if you try to be everything to everyone, you lose the unique person that you are. Every time you change yourself or what you’re offering just to please people or whenever dismissal is looming in simply shows (for me) that you’re not clear about yourself, what you are offering and/or the value of it.

Anyway, they picked me for the job. Three of the interviewers pretty much liked me, the other two clearly did not. But I didn’t accept the job offer. Why? Just because.

Being on the receiving end of a shitty situation recently, I’ve realized that I still don’t care (and wouldn’t care) if people don’t like me. It’s safer that way as far as I’m concerned. It allows me to be true to myself and what I feel and that’s all that matters to me now. I can freely express myself regardless of what other people think or say. This is me, I’m clear about who I am and what I want and what I can do or offer to people. If people don’t like it, it’s okay. If they do, then good! 🙂 I don’t have to change for other people. If ever I will change, I’d have a pretty good reason for myself why I will.

Sometimes, it’s not easy to say no to people that we end up saying yes even if we don’t want to. Maybe it’s human nature, most of us don’t want to feel selfish by saying no, sometimes we just choose to be kind so we say yes. I’ve always believed I have all the right to say no without feeling guilty. As long as I say no in a nice way, I think that doesn’t make me a jerk. And when people don’t like me, it gives me more power to say no wherever and whenever I need to a lot easier.

One other good thing when people don’t like me is that I learn more about myself. It teaches me what I can become, what I can do, thus, giving me more self-confidence and other people’s influence become lesser.

Knowing that I’m worthy of other people’s energy is another good thing when people don’t like me. 😉 For them to be using their precious time talking about me probably means I’m somehow affecting them. Oh, that’s flattering! 😉

Bottom line is, I don’t really care if people like me or not. I make no apology for that. People usually love me or hate me all my life and I actually really love this about myself. Not everyone’s gonna like me and that’s okay. People’s judgments have no bearing on me, what they say about me is none of my business. I choose not to waste my time on people who don’t like me. I’m not on this earth for them. I’ll just continue doing my thing.

Happy day, homo sapiens!

Six Text Messages I Never Sent You

Hey!

1. It’s been months since the last time we talked. Really talked. The kind of conversation we used to have, the one I like, I enjoy. The kind of conversation that attracted me to you. It’s nice and fun reading those threads of text messages but it saddens me at the same time. Little did I know that would be the last day I’d enjoy a chat/conversation with you. If I paid more attention that day, would I have seen signs at least that it would be the last? I don’t know. I just think now that it’s a terrible thing really how we throw away people. A terrible thing, being thrown away. Why don’t we talk anymore? Why’d you stop talking to me? I wish I could get or come up with even a flake of an answer…

2. I have been wondering what have you been up to since then. Did you get a new job? Or are you still doing the same thing? Are you staying here or did you fly somewhere else? Do you still do the things I’ve known you love doing or have you discovered new ones? Many times I’m tempted to call you, I was so close to pressing that call button. But I’m afraid you won’t answer, afraid that you’d cancel. But I almost did. I always remind myself that if you want to talk to me, you will. I just kind of miss that personalized notification tone from you and the ringtone when you’re the one calling.

3. You know, there’s always something around me that reminds me of you. Whether I’m at home, at work, in a coffee shop, in a restaurant… There’s always something that makes me remember you. It makes me feel like an idiot sometimes. Some days I wish I’d bump into you in places we used to frequently go to but sometimes I also hope not to because I’m not sure how I’d feel or what I’d do when I see you. Every working day on my way home, I pass by the place that reminds me so much of you. It always leaves a smile on my face but lately, it makes my mouth curve down, too.

4. You’ll always be one of my favorite people. Always. I hope someday, you find it in your heart to forgive me if I, in any way, did you any wrong. I still wish we could be friends. I’d give up anything for a second chance. Damn, I miss you like hell!

5. Thank you and I really hope you’re happy. Well, I know you are. You should be. There’s nothing you want that you can’t have. Nothing you want to do that you can’t do. You’ve got everything and could have anything within your grasp so I hope all your dreams come true.

6. Lastly, I have never said this but yes, I love you. I really do.

Quote of the Week

Rejection is about the other person: it’s a reflection of their mistaken perception. If they don’t want to hang around with you, it’s their loss. Feel sorry for them. They got it wrong. Focus on the ones who made the smart move.

-Owen Fitzpatrick

If We Were Having Coffee #1

If we were having coffee…

… for sure we’re both having brewed.

If we were having coffee…

… I’d ask you how have you been since you left and how I’ve been since then.

If we were having coffee…

… I’d tell you what could’ve been if life turned out differently for both of us.

If we were having coffee…

… I’d tell you how difficult it was losing you and how it felt to be so lonely.

If we were having coffee…

… I’d thank you for all the years we’ve shared together.

If we were having coffee…

… I’d tell you to love her more than you’ve loved me.

If we were having coffee…

… I’d tell you I’ve already forgiven you. I’ve already forgiven myself. And I’m completely and honestly okay now.

~~~

Some of the realest conversations I’ve ever had in my life were made over a cup of coffee (or tea for the other person) and usually last for hours. I’ve decided to do a series of this post where I’d be referring to different individuals I’ve met or encountered in my life. This first post for this series is for the person I’ve dated for a little bit more than seven years.

How about you? If we were having coffee, what would you tell me? Feel free to drop a line or two in the comment section. 🙂

Happy day, homo sapiens!

Quote of the Week

Better never means better for everyone… It always means worse, for some.

-Margaret Atwood

How I Deal with People I Don’t Like

In a perfect world, everyone is nice, cool, caring, mindful. In a perfect world. But then again, we aren’t in a perfect world and imperfections are all around us. There are those whom we just click with right away, some whom we can handle alright, and try as we might, some whom we just don’t care about. And then there are those whom we just don’t get along with, people we just can’t stand and sometimes it’s difficult to know the right way to deal with them.

I’m not quite sure what I’m doing is right but here is how I deal with people I don’t like…

Accepting that I can’t get along with everyone.

The thing is, we definitely aren’t going to like every single person we meet. But not liking someone doesn’t necessarily mean we or them are a bad person. It’s just that we have different opinions or personalities and we just don’t jive. So it’s okay not to like people. The best thing to do, I guess, is just accept it. I don’t need to like everyone (whether at work, in the apartment, etc.) as much as they don’t need to like me, so I’d better go easy on myself. 🙂 I have to accept that I’m not going to like everyone. I can’t change them and they’re probably not trying to be difficult, too.

Identifying what I dislike about the other person.

It’s very important to know what it is exactly we don’t like from a person. So I consider what’s happening and why. It might just be because I don’t like the person because of certain qualities which are socially acceptable but not for me personally and if that’s the case then that is my issue and not the other person’s. In a way, being able to pin-point what puts me off about this person is a way of bettering myself, too.

Releasing the need to be right.

The more I think I am right, the more I struggle dealing with the person I don’t like. So I try to just make my point and walk away. Agree to disagree and try my best not to be judgmental.

Finding common ground.

Sometimes this is difficult but when I look hard enough, I sometimes find some common ground with people I don’t like. It helps to know something we have in common and try to develop it from there instead of focusing on things they do that annoys me.

Checking my expectations.

Sometimes I take a moment to check on myself. I get irritated because the other person doesn’t do what I would do if I were on his situation. Expecting others to do as I’d do almost always leaves me disappointed. We are all different individuals, raised in different ways, believe in different views so we devise ideas and solutions for every situation differently as well. So I guess it’s normal, besides, I also don’t act the way people expect me to all the time either. So I check on my expectations and try to be tolerant of different approaches.

When all else fails, ignore them completely.

Yes. Sometimes, or well, more often, it’s best to just ignore them completely. I do try to avoid them as much as I could until eventually, I can completely ignore them. This isn’t easy when I have to work with these people but in cases where I don’t need to, it’s really not an issue.

~~~~~~~~~~

How about you my dear readers? How do you deal with people you don’t like? Feel free to write them on the comment section. I’d be glad to learn from you!

Enjoy the day, homo sapiens!

Quote of the Week

One thing I learned a long time ago is that even if you think you’re meant to be with someone, that doesn’t necessarily mean you get to be with them.

-Miranda Kenneally

Quote of the Week

Two people who were once very close can without blame or grand betrayal become strangers. Perhaps this is the saddest thing in the world.

-Warsan Shire

Quote of the Week

The important people in our lives leave imprints. They may stay or go in the physical realm, but they are always there in your heart, because they helped form your heart. There’s no getting over that.

-Rachel Cohn

Quote of the Week

We never really talked much or even looked at each other, but it didn’t matter because we were looking at the same sky together, which is maybe even more intimate than eye contact anyway. I mean, anybody can look at you. It’s quite rare to find someone who sees the same world you see.

-John Green

A Six-Word Story

I’m left with memories all alone.

A Six-Word Story

You and I, an unfinished business.

Quote of the Week

Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to. It’s not for them.

-Joubert Botha

A Six-Word Story

Thought I’m okay. I thought wrong.

Quote of the Week

People aren’t always what you want them to be. Sometimes they disappoint you or let you down, but you have to give them a chance first. You can’t just meet someone and expect them to be everything you’re looking for and then be angry when they’re not every hope and aspiration you projected onto them. It’s foolish to believe that someone will be what you imagine them to be. And sometimes, when you give them a chance, they turn out to be better than you imagined. Different, but better.

-Chloe Rattray

Numb

How’d you break a heart

that’s long been broken? Poor heart.

It might just turn numb.

Quote of the Week

You sometimes think you want to disappear, but all you really want is to be found.

-Kid Cudi

A Six-Word Story

I’ve forgiven myself. Forgive yourself, too.

Quote of the Week

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.

-Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Someone Else

He left against her will but told her to wait for him.

She waited and endlessly hoped for him to return.

A couple of years later he asked her to follow him instead.

She hesitated for it’s not easy to give up the life she created for herself.

But she followed him just the same willing to start a new life again.

Soon they were together.

But her happiness and excitement was short-lived.

For in front of her eyes was someone else.

Someone else is the source of his happiness.

Liebster Award #3

Many thanks to Sameera for nominating me for my third Liebster Award! Do check out and enjoy this very young lady’s blog here.

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The Rules:

  1. Thank the blogger that nominated you.
  2. Answer the questions from the blogger who nominated you.
  3. Nominate 5-11 blogs/bloggers.
  4. Ask the bloggers 10-11 questions.

Here are Sameera’s questions and my answers:

One thing that you would like to change in your life.

Hmmm, this is difficult. There are some things I’d like to change but I think altering them would also change the rest of my life so I’d rather not. However, I’d like to say that I’d consider being less-friendly if I could.

What would you do if you are about to lose everything in your life?

Now this is even more difficult. Hmmm… well, what should I do? What can I do? I’d probably let it all go at that moment, think about the loss and feel it, then work my ass to retrieve back the things/people I’ve lost that matter and live a better life in order not to lose them again.

Advice you would like to give to me about my poems.

As I always mention, I don’t think I’m in the position to give advice to writers/bloggers but just keep on writing (according to my writer friend), I think you’d learn as you write more.

The person who influenced you the most.

My parents. They’re two very different individuals and I wonder how they’ve managed to stay together for thirty-nine years (and counting) but they instilled in me moral values that helped me learn and grow in every way.

Any adventurous thing you would like to share.

I find it really very adventurous trying every kind of food I see wherever I am and the best food adventure I had was in Hanoi, Vietnam. You’ll never run out of something new for your taste buds. 🙂

Books you would like to read.

There are tons of books I’d like to read and I still have more than 50 unread books on my shelves! Yay!

If you had one last chance to change anything what would it be?

Same answer to the first question.

How you came across writing blog?

I’m not sure I understand this question right but if you meant how I decided to write a blog, well, it was purely out of boredom two years ago…

What inspires you to write?

I usually only get to write when I feel too much. I’m no writer/blogger. It just so happens that some thoughts come into mind and I just write them.

Apart from writing what else you love to do in life.

I love eating, reading, playing tennis and making other people’s lives miserable. Haha! Just kidding about the last one! 😀

The nominees are:

  1. https://eullycornmeetsworld.wordpress.com/
  2. https://nishasharma1896.wordpress.com/
  3. https://tashneevmavee.wordpress.com/
  4. https://wordsinthelight.com/
  5. https://bloggymcblogface446.wordpress.com/
  6. https://myadviceforyourlife.wordpress.com/
  7. https://inamessyworld.wordpress.com/

And my questions are:

  1. What do you do in your free time?
  2. What’s your dream job?
  3. Which do you prefer more, watching TV or reading?
  4. What does your perfect day look like?
  5. How would your friends describe you?
  6. What accomplishment are you most proud of?
  7. Recommend a movie. Why do you recommend it?
  8. When you’re having a bad day, what do you do to make yourself feel better?
  9. What’s your favorite time of day?
  10. If you could be anywhere else right now, where would it be?

I can’t think of better questions to ask at the moment but I’m very interested to know your answers.

Once again, thank you, Sameera!

Happy day, homo sapiens! 🙂

A Six-Word Story

Letting all go; wondering who’ll stay.