Loving Someone We Can’t Have

Perhaps it’s human nature to want something or someone we can’t have. From little things to big ones, sometimes, there’s this something that we want but just can’t have. The same thing goes with people. Let’s be honest, there is (or there was) this someone we’ve been wanting to be with but can’t, right?

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about my crazy heart, it’s that it never gets to choose who to love. Never. It just, well, I don’t know. It just loves. Sometimes we’re lucky to be loved in return but other times, not so. We sometimes get into this sadder kind of love. We fall for people who don’t love us the same way. Or don’t love us at all.

When this sad moment happens to us, our worlds just seem to stop. It cuts us deep.  We feel helpless. Our lives are shattered. Our minds are warped. Our hearts hurt. Our souls in pieces.  So what do we do?

We all have different ways of dealing with matters of the heart like the pain of loving someone we can’t have. I’ve experienced this just once but it took me quite a while to put myself together and get through it. But I did! So I’m sharing it with you and feel free to share yours, too, in the comment section.

Sulk.

Allow yourself to sulk for some time. Feel the pain of that unrequited love. Cry if you must. You can cry only so long then you have to do something else with your time. Acknowledging and feeling the pain is important before you get past it.

Write it down.

Writing every single emotion you feel, even the littlest of feelings, can help you feel better and heal faster, big time! Once you are able to write it all down, you get a clearer picture of what exactly you’re going through.

Acceptance.

Accept the fact that they don’t love you the same way or that they can’t reciprocate the love you have for them. Once you accept that fact, you’re headed to the right path. It would be easier to go on living even when you’re the only one loving them.

Find a hobby.

Find something you love to do and as much as possible, something unrelated to that person. It won’t be very easy to stop your mind from thinking about that person but once you engage yourself deeply in creative or enjoyable hobbies, you gradually become less obsessed with the person and focus your mind elsewhere.

Enjoy whatever time you spend together.

Whatever/However you spend time together, keep in mind to focus on the good times, the good conversations, the good jokes, the good laughs, the good whatevers. Always only the good points. Enjoy the moment and don’t ask for more.

Go on dates with other people.

Since it happened, I haven’t dated anyone so I’m not very sure if this works but perhaps yes because you’ll be focusing your attention on other people. But it’s important to keep in mind not to look for this person from the other person you’re dating. That’s just not fair.

Protect yourself/your feelings.

If I were in this situation two, three years ago or so, I wouldn’t consider being friends with the person. But things change and so do people. So did I. Hence I’d say, it’s okay to be friends with this person. Keep the friendship. Be there for them when they need you without crushing your heart, of course. Be there when they need a helping hand but when things get difficult to handle, tell them or just leave.

Exercise.

Exercising contributes to emotional balance so do some workouts, walk, jog, or run. Play sports. You’d be shooting two birds at the same time — it removes the negativity in your mind and helps you stay fit.

Don’t be angry.

The thing is, I never get to learn how to be angry with this person. And I find that a good thing. So I’d say try to remember all the happy times you’re together, the wonderful times you’ve shared. I personally think there’s no point getting angry at someone because love didn’t grow in their hearts. I’m content and happy that love grew in mine. So be glad, it grew in yours, too.

And Then One Day…

Sometimes, just when everything seems to be going well, life throws us a curve ball. Then everything just starts to get messy. We get very confused and nothing seems to make sense. It’s not always that we get to come out of it easily because sometimes, it hits real hard. It’s way too painful that it seems so unfair why we need to get all through that without knowing the reason why.

But it’s situations like this that we are supposed to be stronger and we should fight harder. We can’t give up. We have to keep going. Then we’ll learn the lesson life is trying to teach us. Eventually, we grow.

Sometimes, we’re lucky to meet unexpected people. People who we meet at any random day of the week and staying up until wee hours of the night with them just talking about anything. We get to learn new things or start new hobbies with them or because of them. We learn to appreciate another side of life unknown to us before we’ve met them. Then sometimes, we fall in love. And gradually, things start to fall into place again. We feel deeply moved, we feel loved, appreciated and recognized. We feel everything all at once.

And then one day, it would just hit us. We are happy. In fact, we are very happy. We feel complete. We smile for no reason. Our hearts beat for all the right reasons. And when we look back months or years ago, it would make us feel glad that we stayed strong and didn’t let the pain or hurt consume us. We moved forward, we fought.

A Six-Word Story

Just like that…

we’re strangers again…

A Six-Word Story

You’d always be my favorite almost.

My Anti-Bucket List

I understand the idea of mulling over and writing down the things we wish, hope and want to do and ticking them off once we’ve accomplished it and for me, it somehow helps me to live out the best possible life I could, though sometimes, I just end up disappointed as it ends up ruining my expectations.

So this time, for a change, I’m writing down the things I hope to never do — or hope to never do again, things I don’t plan to do, things I hope to never happen — or  hope to never happen again, before I kick the bucket. This list isn’t all-inclusive, of course, but read on.

  1. Stop reading. 📖
  2. Stop singing. 🎤
  3. Get tattooed.
  4. Marry or have an affair with a married man.
  5. Break someone’s heart. 💔
  6. Hold a spider. 🕷
  7. Stop learning new things.
  8. Go to prison or be arrested.
  9. Ignore complicated realities.
  10. Stop taking risks.
  11. End the year with less money 💰 💰 💰  than I started with.
  12. Not believe in myself.
  13. Step foot on anything squishy or slimy.
  14. Take things for granted.
  15. Play it safe.
  16. Lose my taste for alcohol. 🍺 🍷
  17. Smoke.
  18. Lose my sense of humor.
  19. End up in the hospital wearing my worst pair of underwear.
  20. Get food poisoning.
  21. Say no to dessert. 🍰🍮🍭🍫🍩
  22. Cause more hurt than happiness.
  23. Kill someone.
  24. Change who I am.
  25. Be normal. (Who wants normal?)
  26. Fall off a horse.
  27. Get bitten by a dog.
  28. Be hungover.
  29. Fight with my mom.
  30. Hit 70 kgs!
  31. Be a walking ATM to my friends or anyone.
  32. Tell a child that Santa Claus 🎅  is not real.
  33. Keep toxic people in my life.
  34. Get stuck in the elevator in between floors.
  35. Hold back love.
  36. Stop taking chances.
  37. Hold grudges.

It’s your turn now! What’s on your anti-bucket list? Write them down on the comments, I’m so eager to know!

Have a pleasant day, homo sapiens! 😊