My First Kiss Went A Little Like This

cute-cartoon-boy-and-girl-are-kissing-vector-15321128
Photo found on Google. Credit to the owner.

Do you remember your first kiss? Yes, the very first! How nice was it? Or how terrible? Ideally, specially as teenagers, we expect our first kiss to be sweet and romantic! Or hot and wild! Intense! Oh dear! Locking lips with someone we like should send tingles up our spine and leave us feeling incoherent after.

Contrary to the perfect romantic first kisses I’ve either read, watched, imagined or hoped for, mine was a turn-off. Let me walk you down memory lane because my first kiss went a little like this…

My first kiss happened many moons ago, I was fourteen, he was sixteen. His name’s Andrew. He was my ultimate crush then and little did I know that he’s got a crush on me, too. We attended the same high school and we were both athletes. We’ve known each other by face and was only formally introduced to each other in a party after almost a year of smiles and hellos during training/practice or in the corridors.

We were dating for more than a month already when it happened. Since I belong to the science classes, he has to wait for me for about an hour until I finish my last class. After class that day, we went to the small garden just at the back of his classroom so he can help me with my homework. (I remember I suck in Biology and Chemistry then!) Once we’re done, we started walking while holding hands as he led me to his classroom door.

The touch: We were holding hands then he pulled me to him and pushed me gently against the classroom door then placed his left arm around my waist while his right hand caressed my face. (I liked that part!)

The ambiance: I never thought that my first kiss would be in the most romantic place in the world — in school, outside his classroom door! I mean, come on, I’ve imagined a kind of romantic setting, too. But definitely not in school!

The kiss: Well, our noses bumped at first and I was about to laugh but he kissed me right away and the first few tender brushes of his lips against mine was magic, it did really sent tingles up my spine and made all my body cells come to life until…

The tongue situation: Eeeewww! Just eeeewww! Oh boy! Was the tongue even supposed to be there??? It’s just wet! And sloppy! I was shocked! I wanted to punch him in the face!

The aftermath: Absolutely awkward. Confusing. Disappointing. In my mind, I’m trying to figure out what just happened. Funny thing is, I ended up having a very high fever that night and wasn’t able to go to school the next day!

So my first kiss didn’t happen according to plan but well, life isn’t a movie set. But in between homework and practice, the kisses got better, more quality kissing took over for the next two years.

So how was your first kiss? Was is sweet? Or was it terrible? How old were you then? Did it turn out the way you’ve imagined it to be? I’d love to hear, after all, what better time to delurk if not during first-kiss-story sharing time, right?

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8 Things You Should Stop Expecting from Others

Most people get upset when their expectations are not met. I guess it’s normal to feel that way for a while. However, for myself, I’ve learned that if you want to be happier, successful and have a stress-free (or less stressful) life, it’s very important not to expect anything from anyone specially things we too, are not willing to do for ourselves. We all are following different paths in life so it’s quite understandable when other people’s actions/behaviors don’t always align with ours.

Very often, many of our disappointments come from misguided, erroneous or even unwise expectations. True enough, it’s also hard not to expect anything in life, but we’ve seen it many times too, that life is not always what you’ve planned or wanted it to be. Moreover, people don’t always behave the way we want them to. We can always hope for the best but expect less or expect the worst.

So today, I thought it would be nice to share with you a few things I’ve learned to stop expecting from other people.

1. Stop expecting others to understand you.

This is one of the very first things I’ve stopped expecting from other people at an early age. It’s one of the most important things I did for myself. It helped me a great deal. As someone often branded as weird, strange, naughty, crazy or stubborn when I’m just being myself, I used to expect that someday people will understand me. Expecting others to understand me always leads me to disappointment though. It used to make me upset for hours or sometimes even lead to fights. But as soon as I’ve accepted the fact that I don’t need them to understand me because I very much understand myself, life has never been better. And I had always been the same weird, strange, naughty, crazy and (not so) stubborn (anymore) girl that I am.

It’s important to remember that not everyone will understand you and they don’t have to. You may be unwanted by some, but you may also be priceless for others. So always keep in mind your worth and spend your time with people who value you.

2. Stop expecting others to agree with you all the time.

People have different opinions about everything and it is very unrealistic to expect them to agree with you all the time. You can try to convince them to agree with you about the subject in hand but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they will concur with what you’ve said. Not everything that seems right to you is right for them, too. Opinions vary. So it’s perfectly fine if they don’t always agree with you, besides, you also don’t agree with them all the time, right?

3. Stop expecting people to return the favor.

The golden rule states that, “Do unto others what you want others to do unto you.” In reality, this isn’t always true. Not all people will show you kindness the way you show it to them. Many assholes and bitches who are not happy with themselves will treat you unkindly/cruelly despite the kindness you show them. So if you want to do favors to people, do it from your heart, do it because you want to without expecting that they’d do the same for you later on.

4. Stop expecting people to respect you when you don’t respect yourself.

While it is important to be nice to other people, it is also essential to be nice to yourself. Never beg people for respect, attention or love. You give yourself these things. Respect yourself, pay attention to yourself, love yourself. At the same time, respect others. They might not respect you as you respect them, but respect them anyway.

5. Stop expecting people to know what you’re thinking.

If you want to say something, tell them. Don’t expect others to know what’s in your mind. People can’t read minds. So you need to talk. You need to effectively communicate so people will understand and know what you want or what’s in your head. Just say it.

6. Stop expecting people to change overnight.

You can’t change people. I guess, you shouldn’t even try to. Personally, it’s either you accept them as they are or live without them. People change but that is totally up to them and when when they do without others forcing them to do so, it also changes the way  you see them.

7. Stop expecting people to live or do things according to your standards or your idea of who they are.

Allow people to be themselves and stop expecting them to act or behave according to your standards. Appreciate them and respect them for who they are. People’s morals and ethics differ. Right and wrong are not always clearly defined, so as long as you expect others to do things according to what you think is right will often leave you in frustration.

8. Stop expecting people to be always okay.

Every now and then, life throws a curve ball on us and sometimes, other people take far too long to cope with these difficulties. We deal with our problems in different ways and others suck at it sometimes but we all have good days and bad days. It’s okay not to be okay all the time. Have a little more compassion for others.

Damaged

She’s damaged as fuck

which makes her more dangerous.

Feels at home in hell.

If We Were Having Coffee #5

If we were having coffee…

…you would have known already that I want my coffee black and without sugar.

If we were having coffee…

…we would have probably learned a lot about each other and each other’s culture already.

If we were having coffee…

…I would have perhaps told you a dozen times how very much I love your voice and your accent! I surely would’ve been mimicking you as you talk and I might be giggling a bit, too!

If we were having coffee…

…you would’ve known already that I like you, too!

If we were having coffee…

…I’d tell you I’m so delighted to have met you. You’re a lovable guy and you definitely can make me laugh! But I’d also tell you I’m sorry that I have to turn down your invitation for a dinner date and that I refused to give my contact details so we can keep in touch. I do hope though that our paths will cross again and maybe then, I’m ready and if you still are interested to have that dinner date with me, I’d gladly say yes and see what happens next.

Do These Habits Annoy You Like They Annoy Me?

I’m waiting for my flight at the moment and enjoying my first cup of coffee after a few months since I’ve stopped drinking. I love coming early to the airport whenever I travel to be able to roam around the whole place, buy coffee then read. I have read very little this year and I’m not very happy about it. However, I don’t think I can catch up with my reading at this point because this young fellow a few seats from mine is talking too loudly on his phone. I don’t understand a thing he’s saying because he speaks Arabic but man, he’s too loud and he sounds like a frog. I don’t know what better word to use to describe his voice. Froggy? Haha! But yeah, he sounds like a frog. Anyhoo, Mr. Froggy Guy just gave me an idea what to write about instead!

We all behave differently and less becoming from time to time. We all have habits and some things that are normal for us just aren’t the same for others. Now because of this loud, froggy guy, I can’t help but think about the things other people do which I find annoying/irritating. It might not bother other people as much as it bothers me since we all are different individuals and behave differently but do the following habits annoy you like they annoy me?

1. Talking loudly on the phone. (Or just talking very loudly.)

I don’t understand people having loud, animated conversations on their phones in public! They probably get so carried away but come on, keep it down. I’m not in the least bit interested about other people’s conversation and I think it’s always possible to modulate your voice. High-decibel assault on my eardrums are not welcome so please don’t make the whole world your phone booth.

2. Nose picking.

Everyone does this once in a while, alright, but picking your nose in public places? Who wants to see that?

3. Stinking farts.

We all do need to pass gas but that doesn’t mean others should smell it, too. Who wants to smell a fart? You, yourself, don’t want to smell yours, do you? So finding yourself caught up in someone else’s rectal gas is maddening! Go to toilets or empty spaces if you need to release stinking gas.

4. Interrupting when someone’s talking.

I, for one, love to talk. When I say something, I want the person’s full attention on me and what I’m saying as I do the same to other people when they do the talking. It annoys me when someone cuts me off mid-sentence. I get completely miffed when someone butts in when I’m talking most specially when I’m saying/explaining something important and complicated or something that gives me butterflies in my stomach. When people interrupt, they should just tell the other person to shut up because they have better things to say. It shows that they don’t know respect because however I look at it, it is rude to interrupt.

5. Nail biting.

I think nail biting is not just a bad habit but also a disorder in the same category with OCD. I just find it really irritating.

6. Gross eating.

Table manners, please. No one wants to hear the noise people make when they chew/slurp their food/drinks or when their teeth clangs to the cutlery. It also gets me totally irritated to see food scattered all over the table, talking with mouth full, taking too much food like there’s no tomorrow and not eating it all and also burping without covering their mouths and burping intentionally loud because they think it’s funny!

7. Whining and complaining.

Whining or complaining once in a while is normal but when someone does it every single day? Oh, seven hells! Don’t be surprised why I avoid you. I don’t like people who talk as if the world owes them something!

8. Always late.

It’s infuriating that very often nowadays, people think it’s okay and it’s normal to be late in meetings or appointments. Once or twice is fine for sometimes, some unavoidable things happen. But I find people disrespectful of my time when they always come up late.

9. Repetitive noise.

This often happens at work. It really gets on my nerves rather quickly when people make useless, irritating, repetitive noise like tapping their pens on the desk or even sighing deeply all the time like as if they carry the weight of the world on their shoulders when all they actually do is nap/sleep, watch, smoke and drink coffee at work.

10. Taking shit out on other people.

Feeling angry or upset is okay. However, it is unacceptable to be taking your shit out on other people or go and act freaking crazy at them about something that made you angry.

A very common scene anywhere in the world today. This isn’t only annoying but also very rude. It is always important to give your full attention to the person speaking. If you find your phone more interesting than I am, don’t bother hanging out with me again.

12. Being a slob.

Since I started sharing rooms/apartments, one of the things I fight/argue about with my housemates (in addition to noise) concerns house chores. Throwing the garbage, cleaning the kitchen and bathrooms, etc. In any living situation where you share the place with someone, there is always the one who cares more and the one who cares less about these things. Obviously, the slobs care less or not at all. We all differ in standards when it comes to keeping our homes clean but leaving your mess behind when cohabiting with someone is unacceptable for me. It’s disrespectful and inconsiderate expecting others to clean your mess.

13. Making everything about them.

There is absolutely nothing wrong about sharing things about yourself to people, however, why or how some bring up unrelated topics back to them or about them all the time is a different thing. I guess this boils down to becoming good listeners. It is very important to listen and understand to what the other person is saying instead of just waiting another chance to revert back the conversation to yourself.

14. The need of being right all the time and knowing it all.

It is so irritating to be with someone who has to be, needs to be and wants to be right all the time. Not to mention always trying to prove other people wrong. Of course there are instances where you can really prove yourself right but so what? I think it’s okay to correct someone once in a while but generally, people should remember that conversations are always a matter of each person’s perspective, opinion or experiences. Respect theirs as they respect yours.

15. Acting like a victim.

It’s totally draining being in the company of people who always complain and think that life is unfair. It’s normal to feel sad and discouraged but life wasn’t meant to be always easy and happy. Life is hard but it’s always up to us whether we let ourselves get stuck to it and act like pathetic victims of this cruel world or make something better out of it. In addition, I don’t like people acting like victims of circumstances they themselves created.

16. Being negative all the time.

It’s exhausting spending time with pessimists. Things do go wrong and sometimes, we have no control of that but it wouldn’t do you any good to stay stuck there and be completely negative about it.

17. Playing dumb.

I’ve known many women who has the habit of playing dumb specially in front of men or their crushes/boyfriends. It’s not cute! It’s just not!

18. Pretending to be friends then badmouthing them behind their backs.

What’s wrong with these people? Why pretend you like the person when you don’t? You don’t have to be friends with everyone so don’t pretend to be friends then badmouth each other after.

19. Invading my personal space.

Crossing boundaries are way too greater nowadays. My personal space or any issue related to it is something very important to me and I protect that probably far more seriously than others. This is my kind of comfort zone where I set/maintain a certain distance from people both emotionally and physically where when it’s crossed, it gives me a feeling of irritability and discomfort.

20. Making personal calls all day at work.

Colleagues can be very annoying in a multitude of ways. Making personal calls at work all day, every day, is one example. It’s understandable to make occasional, personal phone calls but use your common sense. Personal calls should be kept at a minimum. I, for one, am not interested with what’s happening in your personal life. Leave your personal matters at home.

~~~

I understand we all have habits we don’t realize irritate other people and I actually don’t give a damn about it but I also know that it’s also important to be mindful of others. It’s essential to be aware of our bad habits in order to work on changing them and adopting new and better ones.

What habits annoy you? Share them!

A Six-Word Story

I’ll be okay. I don’t quit.

14 Things Restaurant Servers Wish You’d Stop Doing

I am more of an eater than a server but I worked in the food industry for several years, in fact, it’s in the same field where I had my very first job. I was sixteen then. I worked as a restaurant server in a Lebanese restaurant in a 5-star hotel when I first came here before moving to my current company two and a half years later and I can say that I also enjoyed the years I’ve worked there and at the same time had my fair share of restaurant horror experiences. I can tell you several stories about hungry humans during those years I was in the business but I’ll save that for another post. I guess, everyone who worked more than their summer vacation as a server have at least one work-related nightmare.

It’s an easy job for some but not so easy for others. I think there’s no easy job in a restaurant and in my experience, the servers have it the hardest. In one shift, a server can attend to a hundred or so restaurant patrons — some nice, some very hungry and of course, some just plainly rude. In addition, there’s the endless demands of the guests (and managers), the very long time standing or walking back and forth, cleaning, delayed breaks (or sometimes none!), malfunctioning microwaves, juicers or coffee machines, dumb questions from guests, managers and collagues, quick-tempered chefs, lazy workmates and so on. Maybe it would be nice if it would be a requirement to have one-year working experience in the food industry before entering the university. 😉 Just so everyone would know and understand how it’s like.

In between shifts, during breaks, in staff parties or whenever there’s a chance, restaurant staffs (I and my former coworkers included) can’t help but talk about you — restaurant patrons/guests — what they wish (and would really appreciate) you would stop doing.

1. Ignoring the staff’s greetings.

I don’t understand why you choose to ignore the staffs when they greet you. Many of you just immediately demand for what you want instead of acknowledging the staff’s “Hello” or “Welcome.”

Sometimes, servers are cut-off mid-sentence while greeting the guests. Worse still, I’ve never known where on earth do they teach that “Give me turkish coffee, sweet,” is the proper reply to “How are you?” Rude!

2. Letting your children run amok.

I hate this, big time. Letting your children run amok in a restaurant is dangerous. It’s a disaster. It’s chaos. It’s not funny. It’s not entertaining. If the servers trip over your children and dump food or juice or hot coffee or anything on them, the server almost always gets the blame when in truth, you should be responsible for it. You should be responsible for your children. Not the servers. Restaurants are not playgrounds. You are the only ones thinking that your unruly children are cute and adorable. If you can’t control your children, stay at home for lunch/dinner because servers are not babysitters.

3. Treating your servers as servants.

There is a difference between a server and a servant. Servers are not supposed to kiss your asses. While it’s nice to have someone to fill your glass of water or your cup of tea or coffee, or serving you with your meal and other requests, that doesn’t make them your servant. It also doesn’t mean they’re lower than you. It just so happened that their job is different than yours. So keep in mind to treat them with respect. Don’t talk down to them. Servers are not your personal employees and they’re not obliged to do anything other than taking and serving your orders politely and with utmost respect while making sure you enjoy your dining experience.

4. Not asking for the extras you need at once.

Why do servers ask you if you need anything else after you or your companion ask for something extra? Come on, save the server the trouble of taking several trips here and there by trying to tell them what you need all at once.

5. Whistling & snapping your fingers at the servers.

This is something I’ve encountered a number of times when I was still working in that Lebanese restaurant. Unfortunately, guests whistling to the servers and snapping their fingers when they need something appeared to be a common practice! You should never, ever do that to your servers. It’s downright rude!

6. Blaming the servers when your food is late.

It’s perfectly okay to ask the server what’s taking your order too long. Don’t blame them when your food is late though! It’s annoying alright but they are as miffed as you are when your order is taking forever to be ready.

7. Blaming the servers for not following cooking preferences/requests.

What happens between the time the server takes your order and the moment they serve it to you is out of their control. When you request for a dish without garlic, they jot it down and relay it to the chefs. Whenever possible, they also tell the chef directly about your requests/instructions. However, if the dish you ordered still came with garlic, the servers aren’t the ones you should blame. They take your order, they serve your food BUT they DON’T cook your food.

8. Bitching about your food after consuming everything on your plate.

One of the many dick moves diners do is bitching about the food after devouring their plates clean. Servers usually check on you if your food is okay and if you say yes, then the servers really take that as a yes. If there’s a problem about your food, let the server know as soon as you have the issue so they can find a way to make it right. Don’t bitch about it after you’ve swallowed everything already — a common drama to get the food for free. Ha! These types of guests can burn in hell.

9. Not asking for separate checks before/while ordering.

It’s totally fine to ask for split/separate checks but inform your server at the beginning or while ordering. It’s common courtesy. Splitting checks equally among  you is alright but if it’s seven ways for every person’s order (seven hells!), oh, definitely a heads up!

10. Staying too long after closing time.

Closing time means the restaurant is closed. Go home.

11. Putting your cash/card on the counter when the server’s hand is already out.

Your servers don’t have contagious disease, or else, they won’t be working there in the first place. If their hands are out to receive your payment, hand it to them and not on the table/counter.

12. Hitting on your servers.

This is very irritating. You go to restaurants to eat, I believe, not to find someone to mingle with. But it’s a common scenario in restaurants here. Anyway, just let them do their jobs. Don’t hit on them.

13. Anything phone-related.

This is another dick move I personally wish diners stop doing. You shouldn’t expect your server to stand and wait ages for you to be ready to order until you finish your call or finish texting or whatever business you have with your phone. It’s irritating taking orders while your attention is on your phone.

14. Interrupting the server while attending to another guest.

Learn to wait for your turn and don’t be rude to both your server and the other guests. You’re not the only guest in the restaurant so wait for your turn.

~~~

Anything else you’d like to add? Share them!