In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do.
Reading isn’t important because it helps to get you a job. It’s important because it gives you room to exist beyond the reality you’re given. It is how humans merge. How minds connect. Dreams. Empathy. Understanding. Escape.
Most of the time, my filter doesn’t work. I have to say what I need to say. Not to humiliate people but I just need to speak my mind. I can be brutally frank and it’s too late to care (sometimes) how people would feel when I say something. Yes, I can be a total bitch sometimes (or often, that depends on how you define a bitch!)) but I’m not about to change anytime soon, whether that makes people like me or not.
We grew up believing that we need to belong somewhere in this world. The need to be a part of something else, of something bigger than ourselves. And alongside this, the need to be liked or wanted by people.
I remember a panel interview I had when I was just starting to create a life of my own back in Manila. While waiting for my turn (since I always arrive early in any appointments because I hate being late and people who come late), the HR coordinator came in the waiting room telling me and the other interviewees some information she called “tips” about the interviewers. I remember her saying, “Miss M is this kind of woman to work with so you should be like this. Mr. H on the other hand is like this. Another Mr. H is the same. Mr. O is pretty much like this and that. You should adjust to what they require of you, change your attitude to please and impress them and make them like you.”
That made me think the whole time I was waiting. And I’m still reminded of it even these days when some salesmen visit the office offering their company products and services. I’ve encountered a number of salesmen selling their products explaining the features, offers and benefits that come with it and when we start asking whether the product has this or that, even those that are NOT actually included becomes suddenly a part of what they’re offering. Later on, after buying and using the product and you contact them again because of malfunctions whatsoever, it becomes a problem. Why? Because of the unnecessary promises and warranty or replacements promised that the salesman mentioned comes with the product doesn’t actually exist or can not be actually included in the item in the first place. In short, they just tried to please you or convince you at that time in order to sell their items. They’re salesmen after all! But the problem it created afterwards does not only affect the salesman himself and the customer, it could create a problem for his superiors and the company itself.
So the same thing pretty much happened in that panel interview. Three of us were interviewed by five interviewers. It was pretty funny to me because the other two interviewees were inconsistent and kept changing their answers in order to please every single one of the interviewers. They seem to be reinventing themselves every time another interviewer asked them a question. They turned out to be ass-kissers in the interview. I think that’s terrible. I mean, they seem to be not sure of themselves or what they’ve got to offer. If I were the interviewer, I’d be second-guessing whether or not I can depend on them to do the job I’m hiring them for. I guess if you try to be everything to everyone, you lose the unique person that you are. Every time you change yourself or what you’re offering just to please people or whenever dismissal is looming in simply shows (for me) that you’re not clear about yourself, what you are offering and/or the value of it.
Anyway, they picked me for the job. Three of the interviewers pretty much liked me, the other two clearly did not. But I didn’t accept the job offer. Why? Just because.
Being on the receiving end of a shitty situation recently, I’ve realized that I still don’t care (and wouldn’t care) if people don’t like me. It’s safer that way as far as I’m concerned. It allows me to be true to myself and what I feel and that’s all that matters to me now. I can freely express myself regardless of what other people think or say. This is me, I’m clear about who I am and what I want and what I can do or offer to people. If people don’t like it, it’s okay. If they do, then good! 🙂 I don’t have to change for other people. If ever I will change, I’d have a pretty good reason for myself why I will.
Sometimes, it’s not easy to say no to people that we end up saying yes even if we don’t want to. Maybe it’s human nature, most of us don’t want to feel selfish by saying no, sometimes we just choose to be kind so we say yes. I’ve always believed I have all the right to say no without feeling guilty. As long as I say no in a nice way, I think that doesn’t make me a jerk. And when people don’t like me, it gives me more power to say no wherever and whenever I need to a lot easier.
One other good thing when people don’t like me is that I learn more about myself. It teaches me what I can become, what I can do, thus, giving me more self-confidence and other people’s influence become lesser.
Knowing that I’m worthy of other people’s energy is another good thing when people don’t like me. 😉 For them to be using their precious time talking about me probably means I’m somehow affecting them. Oh, that’s flattering! 😉
Bottom line is, I don’t really care if people like me or not. I make no apology for that. People usually love me or hate me all my life and I actually really love this about myself. Not everyone’s gonna like me and that’s okay. People’s judgments have no bearing on me, what they say about me is none of my business. I choose not to waste my time on people who don’t like me. I’m not on this earth for them. I’ll just continue doing my thing.
Happy day, homo sapiens!
This is a question we were all asked at one point or another in our childhood. Was it a doctor? Or an engineer? Perhaps a teacher? My answers varied depending on how old I was when I was asked the same thing.
I first wanted to be a dinosaur — a T-Rex or a triceratops. T-Rex because I really thought they’re amazing and huge creatures, like kings and queens of dinosaur land. I like triceratops, too, because they look really cute in my eyes then. As I grew up, I learned I can’t be a dinosaur but my love for them still grew. The T-Rex became who I want to be, strong and smart! And the triceratops? I really find them sexy when they walk. Haha!
Then a mutant. And I was so damn serious I wanted to be one. I’ve always wanted to be Magneto’s female version! 😉 Funny how as a child, we know what we wanted to be when we grow up, right?
I first attended school when I was three and a half years old. It was then that I wanted something I thought better than just being a dinosaur or a mutant. I wanted to be a nun. True story! Haha! Mainly because my teachers were nuns. But that changed soon enough when I realized I wanted to be a singer! Oh man, I love to sing! I still want to be a singer these days but I guess, singing in a karaoke bar or at home is as far as that dream could get. 😉
Come elementary years, I wanted to be an archaeologist and a librarian. This is mainly because of my love for reading. The books we had at home back then were volumes of encyclopedias and history books which my father enjoyed reading, not novels and stuff so I was very much interested in ancient past and material remains back then.
High school and college years were different. I wanted to be a lawyer then. And I wanted to be in the world of politics. I don’t remember quite well anymore what made me wanted this at that time but just like becoming a singer, it’s a dream I still have until now.
None of what I wanted to be when I was younger came true. I lead a totally different life now. A life far from what I imagined as a child. My interests changed and adjusted over the years. Being exposed to different environments or hobbies or new experiences molded me into who I became now. It’s good to know that I continue to evolve as I open up to change and new things. Lately though, I have this strong desire to become a dinosaur or a mutant again instead. And I’m serious…
So my dear readers, I want to know what it was you wanted to be when you grew up? Did it come true? Did it actually become your career now? Or a hobby? Or did it remain to be just an interest? I’d be really glad to know so feel free to write them in the comments.
Have a wonderful day, homo sapiens! 🙂
In a perfect world, everyone is nice, cool, caring, mindful. In a perfect world. But then again, we aren’t in a perfect world and imperfections are all around us. There are those whom we just click with right away, some whom we can handle alright, and try as we might, some whom we just don’t care about. And then there are those whom we just don’t get along with, people we just can’t stand and sometimes it’s difficult to know the right way to deal with them.
I’m not quite sure what I’m doing is right but here is how I deal with people I don’t like…
Accepting that I can’t get along with everyone.
The thing is, we definitely aren’t going to like every single person we meet. But not liking someone doesn’t necessarily mean we or them are a bad person. It’s just that we have different opinions or personalities and we just don’t jive. So it’s okay not to like people. The best thing to do, I guess, is just accept it. I don’t need to like everyone (whether at work, in the apartment, etc.) as much as they don’t need to like me, so I’d better go easy on myself. 🙂 I have to accept that I’m not going to like everyone. I can’t change them and they’re probably not trying to be difficult, too.
Identifying what I dislike about the other person.
It’s very important to know what it is exactly we don’t like from a person. So I consider what’s happening and why. It might just be because I don’t like the person because of certain qualities which are socially acceptable but not for me personally and if that’s the case then that is my issue and not the other person’s. In a way, being able to pin-point what puts me off about this person is a way of bettering myself, too.
Releasing the need to be right.
The more I think I am right, the more I struggle dealing with the person I don’t like. So I try to just make my point and walk away. Agree to disagree and try my best not to be judgmental.
Finding common ground.
Sometimes this is difficult but when I look hard enough, I sometimes find some common ground with people I don’t like. It helps to know something we have in common and try to develop it from there instead of focusing on things they do that annoys me.
Checking my expectations.
Sometimes I take a moment to check on myself. I get irritated because the other person doesn’t do what I would do if I were on his situation. Expecting others to do as I’d do almost always leaves me disappointed. We are all different individuals, raised in different ways, believe in different views so we devise ideas and solutions for every situation differently as well. So I guess it’s normal, besides, I also don’t act the way people expect me to all the time either. So I check on my expectations and try to be tolerant of different approaches.
When all else fails, ignore them completely.
Yes. Sometimes, or well, more often, it’s best to just ignore them completely. I do try to avoid them as much as I could until eventually, I can completely ignore them. This isn’t easy when I have to work with these people but in cases where I don’t need to, it’s really not an issue.
How about you my dear readers? How do you deal with people you don’t like? Feel free to write them on the comment section. I’d be glad to learn from you!
Enjoy the day, homo sapiens!
Hello homo sapiens!
This is from a friend and I hope you guys support it as well.
I just signed the petition, “Kuwait Municipality: Ban the Bag Kuwait!” I think this is important. Will you sign it, too?
Here’s the link:
Let’s all help protect the environment.
What can we ever gain in forever looking back and blaming ourselves if our lives have not turned out quite as we might have wished? The hard reality is, surely, that for the likes of you and I, there is little choice other than to leave our fate, ultimately, in the hands of those great gentlemen at the hub of this world who employ our services. What is the point in worrying oneself too much about what one could or could not have done to control the course one’s life took? Surely it is enough that the likes of you and I at least try to make our small contribution count for something true and worthy. And if some of us are prepared to sacrifice much in life in order to pursue such aspirations, surely that is in itself, whatever the outcome, cause for pride and contentment.