… from five to one as I hold you tight in my heart and in my mind, one last time because…
Five. I want to stop thinking I’m worthless because you left me hanging just like that. I refuse to be seen just the way you see or think of me because you never really bothered to know me.
Four. I wish to say your name again without feeling sad, without feeling hurt. I want to say your name again like it never meant anything at all.
Three. I have to stop replaying the day we first met. The night we first kissed. I want to stop thinking what could’ve been if I just left it at hello. I want to learn to accept everything that happened and why it was too easy for you to just end it that way.
Two. I want to stop avoiding my life because of the past. I want to go spend time in a cafe, restaurant or anywhere without the fear of running into you.
One. I need to accept that it’s my fault all of these happened. Trust has failed me many times in the past but I still chose to trust you then. And I will still continue to trust that someday, I will meet someone who will choose to stay.
And now, I’m letting go…
Letting everyone go, wondering who stays.
The important people in our lives leave imprints. They may stay or go in the physical realm, but they are always there in your heart, because they helped form your heart. There’s no getting over that.
Letting all go; wondering who’ll stay.
How they left, it always stays.
I was faced with two choices:
the choice to leave
and never see you again,
or to stay and feel the pain
of you not loving me.
Maybe it’s wrong,
maybe it’s stupid,
I don’t know…
but I stayed.