Verbal Abuse at Work

Anger… it’s an emotion that’s hard to control. An emotion I try to avoid. Most specially at work but then, it’s inevitable. Very early today, someone just brought me to my boiling point. A verbal assault. A first. Is anyone ever prepared for a verbal assault? I wasn’t.

I don’t like being yelled at for whatever reason. Even if it’s my mistake. (But the problem was, it wasn’t my mistake. At all.) Even if you’re my superior. Even if you’re earning much more than I do. I don’t give a damn really but I don’t like being screamed at, seriously! But I was attacked by loud, aggressive anger plus toxic language and sarcastic comments for around fifteen minutes that seemed like forever. I only listened to him the whole time but I was really furious inside already but when he asked if I understood, I only smiled (surprisingly!😲) and just asked if he’s done and that he can talk to me again when he’s sane. I left the office and went home.

I wasn’t really expecting something like this to happen. I thought I’ve met the most evil boss ever but I guess I thought wrong. This guy is the evil boss times two! 👿 I wonder is this his way of showing me that he’s in control? Or was he trying to intimidate me? Probably he was just in a bad mood? Is that how he expresses himself? No matter what his reasons were for behaving that way today, I can’t let myself be a bully bait.

I don’t want to write here what exactly happened this morning and the things he told me. I don’t want to take it personally but it impacted me. I didn’t give it much attention when I heard news about him before. He just started with us last week. I still intend to stay in the same company until next year but I don’t intend to deal with another day of tirades. I don’t think I can stand a person who only knows how to express himself by yelling. It angers me when someone yells at me and I’m afraid I can’t always hide or control my anger. I’m not so sure what to do if this happens again. I hope it doesn’t.

How do you deal with a boss/coworker who verbally attacks you? Write them down in the comment section. Let me learn from you…

Author: Just_Me :)

Basically a breathing, moving, eating and happy-go-lucky homo sapiens. Full-time daydreamer and part-time paranoid. I love reading, I love Roger Federer, I love food.

35 thoughts on “Verbal Abuse at Work”

  1. Pingback: Verbal Abuse at Work — HappymessHappiness – Trust forget believe today

  2. Gosh, I really hate conflict. I think I would try to have a diplomatic (my middle name) word with them in some sort of social setting outside of the office.

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  4. Pingback: 3 Days, 3 Quotes Tag : Day 2 (Rumi) - iScriblr

  5. He should go on a course for Management Training. I had one such worm at work, 2 years of being battered and bullied. I learned and learned more than I was supposed and my knowledge is my power. At once stage though, it was so bad, I used to cry at work and was away from work for adrenal fatigue. The struggle is real.
    Ps, he went on the course I did. He failed. He flushes every time he speaks about it. It was the same course, I passed and was berated for.
    PPS, He is an elder in the church and in Management. Long story short, I killed him with kindness, then apathy. Now I am so much stronger as a person, he could do his worst and I can ignore it.

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    1. Many people usually advise to kill the people who wronged you with kindness and I must admit it worked for most. I usually fight back but this recent incident, I didn’t, I just told him to talk to me again when he’s sane. I said it in a very calm manner and just smiled. Maybe that was still me being kind? I dunno! I just hope to be kinder and more patient than I am now. And maybe he’d get tired of his bad ways, too. By the way, he hasn’t talk to me since that day! Maybe he’s still not sane enough to talk to me again! 😉 Thanks for reading!

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      1. Wow, I am glad you did that. You smiled too. Even better. We are not remotes but humans like them deserving of respect and common decency. If it lacks in them, we must be the bigger person. Time will tell and all will eventually know that they are crass and boorish. Well done you!

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  9. Having C-PTSD it’s difficult. I could really go either way-right back in their face with the same abusive language or I could take it home and not get out of bed for a few days. I quit one job because of it (later did a little dance when they fire my boss for abusing verbally abusing others) but now I’ve gotten in the habit where I work that I tell them to wait a minute (my repeat offenders or to cover my butt) so I can record the conversation. We don’t have a human resource here because it’s a family company so there really isn’t anyone to report to. I find that when recording and they see me recording their attitude changes.

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    1. Recording is a pretty good idea, I agree. And yeah, I would’ve normally talked back but I was quite surprised at myself that even though I was really furious inside already, I was able to stay calm on the outside… it’s nice to hear from you, thanks for reading… and I’m sorry that you’re experiencing complex PTSD… it must be really difficult…😔

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  11. I’m actually still in school so I don’t really know what it is like to have a boss like that but I would still like to express my opinion on the matter. I don’t think it was right of your boss to treat you so disrespectfully and harshly. I feel like he should have kept his composure and left his emotions out of it, because that would have been a sign of maturity. I feel like most malicious people do things because they think they can. It’s a vicious cycle of power. People control others and treat them badly because they think they have the authority to do so. They think they won’t get penalized for what they do and sadly, that is sometimes the case. In my opinion, I don’t think anyone has the right or should even have the nerve to treat another human being badly if they are not at fault. Assuming that they are at fault, the matter can be resolved peacefully and there can be penalties but nobody has the right to put another person’s dignity and self-worth at stake. You could try reporting this incident to your boss’s boss. Do whatever you feel is best and necessary, but I would strongly suggest that you bring this up and report about it because I think the first step to solving a problem is admitting that it exists. You may be able to help others who are suffering from the same problem through your experience. I hope it gets better for you, my friend 🙂

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    1. Hey, Mvadi! Thanks for reading and sharing your opinion. I will definitely let the higher ups know about this, they have to recognize that a problem like this exists. It probably wouldn’t have happened to me if the other employees who were victims of his previous tirades spoke about it. He probably thinks he can do that to anyone. Well, he got that wrong. I hope it all turns out better not just for me but for everyone. 🙂

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      1. Yes, you’re right. He needs to know that he can’t do this to anyone simply because he wants to. I salute you for being courageous and taking the first step to resolving this. Agreed, hopefully it will turn out better for everyone. Keep going! 🙂

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  12. I have never dealt with a boss/Co worker like that.
    Like you, I hate being screamed at regardless of if it is my fault or not.
    If I am wrong and you scream at me then we are even cus you did your damage. I tend to feel no remorse after being screamed at but when you talk to me in a civilised manner, I handle things better.

    Smiling, asking if he was done and telling him to talk to you when he is sane was really bad ass in my opinion and then you iced the cake by walking out🙌
    *I keep playing the scenerio in my head*

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    1. Hi, Sim! Thanks a lot for reading! 🙂 I just don’t understand why he has to yell at me, and everyone. I was furious inside already and it’s quite surprising that was all I said and did! I’m not sure it was a good idea that I said that and left the office but I feel no guilt at all. Oh, I hope you don’t get to experience that! Have a wonderful day! 🙂

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