On Friends & Friendships

imagesSocial media has made it possible for people to become friends to anyone around the globe merely through the click of a button. I think it’s generally a good thing. My need for friendship isn’t too much but once I decide to build one, I intend to make it genuine as much as I can. Somehow, maintaining friendships can be hard work but so worth it at the same time because our friendships are one of the most influential and essential parts of our life. Recently, I’ve been pondering quite often about my friends and friendships. The friends worth keeping and friendships worth saving. The fact of the matter is that, my social circle is quite noticeably shrinking. I don’t see that as a bad thing. I actually think I quite understand now what they mean with “less is more” and “quality over quantity.”

images (1)I first arrived in Kuwait on the 1st of March, 2009. I have a variety of friends back home but very few real ones. They’re some of the best people I’ve met. The kind of friends for keeps. A few weeks since, my friendships have changed a lot. I’ve met different people of different nationalities. Most of the friendships/connections built were situational. Most needed context to make sense. Some stayed longer while some had a shorter shelf life. I still do wish them well now but I don’t intend to reconnect. Luckily, I also get to meet a few that didn’t need any context but exist in any given situation, people who are always there during my ups and downs, stayed during my best and my worst days, the type that lasts.

Several times, I let go of a few friends while a few others let go of me as well. I didn’t think I was being selfish to let go of them just like that but mind you, it wasn’t always easy to put an end to it. However, given the world we live in and the values instilled in us, I knew it was necessary.download

A couple of years afterwards, two of my closest friends abruptly ended our friendship. I first received a message from one of them telling me never to call her again and a few days later, I received pretty much the same message from the other. Sure I’ve made mistakes and dealt with things the wrong way. We had misunderstandings at times which is pretty normal in any relationships but why they suddenly wanted to end the friendship, until now, I still don’t fully understand.

Your peace is more important than driving yourself crazy trying to understand why something happened the way it did.

My heart ached. It really did. Breaking up with friends is just as painful as any other relationship break-ups there is. So after months of failing to know how I’ve wronged them, I stopped. I thought maybe knowing the answer may not satisfy me just the same and I don’t want to drive myself crazy thinking why. I just finally allowed the hurt to help me grow. It was sure a painful way to end an almost decade of friendship but I’ve decided to just let go and move on. I still sometimes think of them though and wonder, did they give up easily on me? Or did I give up easily on them?

downloadI love my friends, really, I do. Friends are one of the most beautiful gifts of being alive. They help shape our lives one way or the other. They cheer, support, help and see the best in each other. Friendships that have depth and true understanding is one among the essential elements of a blessed life. And I feel blessed to have a handful of them. Interestingly enough, some of us drifted apart at some point for some reasons, both inevitable and necessary, but later found each other again and our bonds became stronger. Sadly though, not all our friends give us that good effect. Some lie. Some betray. Then it’s difficult to rebuild trust and loyalty once again. So sometimes it’s better that they end. And a lot of my friendships are meeting its end nowadays.

Whichever and however way we choose our friends/friendships, I think it’s vital that we offer a meaning in each other’s lives. It’s nice to think that we fulfill them and they fulfill us. My friends mean something to me in different ways and play different roles in my life. I do appreciate, value and respect each one of them. Be that as it may, I personally don’t find any reason to work on a friendship that leaves me unfulfilled. More so, friendships out of habit or obligation. That’s just not fair and friendships are voluntary so I think there’s nothing wrong in ending friendships that doesn’t suit you in a positive way anymore.

5e833fe87a8c01614aff165d433a3c29Sometimes, too, we just outgrow our friends. At some point we realize that they’re not good for us because they bring us down or whittle at our confidence every so often. Some friendships evolve with us, but some do not. I will not apologize for evolving closer to my true self and evolving past their comfort zones. We change as we age and grow. So I think it’s just right to let go of such friendships and accept that it’s over.

Other times, too, we have this friend who always swings the conversation back towards him/herself and has no interest in what we have to say. I’ve met a number of them kind and I just avoid them as much as I could and luckily, they themselves stop talking to me, too.

b9cf3e4b311dd4d5e5f3366375bf2c20Moreover, there’s betrayal. As it is with all kinds of relationships, nothing could murder friendships faster than betrayal. It hurts a lot to be betrayed. It hurts all the more to end a friendship because of betrayal. I no longer see any point of saving a friendship when one betrays the other.

From time to time, psychological or emotional issues also become reasons why friends drift apart. It’s important that we maintain everything balanced in our friendships. Support for each other. Will to help in making each other better. Give and take. Trust. Unfortunately, there are times when this factors shift its balance and no longer serve one or the other in a worthwhile, beneficial, balanced or positive way. One typical example is a change in fortune among friends. The manner how we deal with situations like this isn’t always the same, thus, causing friends to drift apart. Where envy or jealousy didn’t exist before starts to gradually emerge. It’s nice to have friends who are always there when we are at our worst but I just don’t get them when they leave us in times when our fate changes for the better. (More of this on another entry.) So I suppose, it all boils down to who we pick as friends in the first place.

I’ve also met a lot of people who just befriend you because they need you. We don’t usually see this right away at the beginning of friendships but eventually, it shows. They take, take, take. And you give, give, give. Then they leave you. They build it when they need it, and break it when they don’t.

Here’s the thing, it is important to always try our best to see things from different perspectives before we make rush judgments whether to still keep these friends or completely cut our ties with them. After all, we all make mistakes. Some of us (myself included) don’t like to rely on anyone for anything to get us through life’s hardships but perhaps there’s nothing wrong in giving the friendship a second chance, be a bit forgiving and understanding maybe, because throwing away a friendship can’t be that easy. Every kind of friendship adds something to our lives, good or bad, it’s just up to us how we are going to let it affect us.


What Did You Want To Be When You Grew Up

This is a question we were all asked at one point or another in our childhood. Was it a doctor? Or an engineer? Perhaps a teacher? My answers varied depending on how old I was when I was asked the same thing.

I first wanted to be a dinosaur — a T-Rex or a triceratops. T-Rex because I really thought they’re amazing and huge creatures, like kings and queens of dinosaur land. I like triceratops, too, because they look really cute in my eyes then. As I grew up, I learned I can’t be a dinosaur but my love for them still grew. The T-Rex became who I want to be, strong and smart! And the triceratops? I really find them sexy when they walk. Haha!

Then a mutant. And I was so damn serious I wanted to be one. I’ve always wanted to be Magneto’s female version! 😉 Funny how as a child, we know what we wanted to be when we grow up, right?

I first attended school when I was three and a half years old. It was then that I wanted something I thought better than just being a dinosaur or a mutant. I wanted to be a nun. True story! Haha! Mainly because my teachers were nuns. But that changed soon enough when I realized I wanted to be a singer! Oh man, I love to sing! I still want to be a singer these days but I guess, singing in a karaoke bar or at home is as far as that dream could get. 😉

Come elementary years, I wanted to be an archaeologist and a librarian. This is mainly because of my love for reading. The books we had at home back then were volumes of encyclopedias and history books which my father enjoyed reading, not novels and stuff so I was very much interested in ancient past and material remains back then.

High school and college years were different. I wanted to be a lawyer then. And I wanted to be in the world of politics. I don’t remember quite well anymore what made me wanted this at that time but just like becoming a singer, it’s a dream I still have until now.

None of what I wanted to be when I was younger came true. I lead a totally different life now. A life far from what I imagined as a child. My interests changed and adjusted over the years. Being exposed to different environments or hobbies or new experiences molded me into who I became now. It’s good to know that I continue to evolve as I open up to change and new things. Lately though, I have this strong desire to become a dinosaur or a mutant again instead. And I’m serious…

So my dear readers, I want to know what it was you wanted to be when you grew up? Did it come true? Did it actually become your career now? Or a hobby? Or did it remain to be just an interest? I’d be really glad to know so feel free to write them in the comments.

Have a wonderful day, homo sapiens! 🙂

Quote of the Week

Each of us has heaven and hell in him.

-Oscar Wilde


Six Text Messages I Never Sent You


1. It’s been months since the last time we talked. Really talked. The kind of conversation we used to have, the one I like, I enjoy. The kind of conversation that attracted me to you. It’s nice and fun reading those threads of text messages but it saddens me at the same time. Little did I know that would be the last day I’d enjoy a chat/conversation with you. If I paid more attention that day, would I have seen signs at least that it would be the last? I don’t know. I just think now that it’s a terrible thing really how we throw away people. A terrible thing, being thrown away. Why don’t we talk anymore? Why’d you stop talking to me? I wish I could get or come up with even a flake of an answer…

2. I have been wondering what have you been up to since then. Did you get a new job? Or are you still doing the same thing? Are you staying here or did you fly somewhere else? Do you still do the things I’ve known you love doing or have you discovered new ones? Many times I’m tempted to call you, I was so close to pressing that call button. But I’m afraid you won’t answer, afraid that you’d cancel. But I almost did. I always remind myself that if you want to talk to me, you will. I just kind of miss that personalized notification tone from you and the ringtone when you’re the one calling.

3. You know, there’s always something around me that reminds me of you. Whether I’m at home, at work, in a coffee shop, in a restaurant… There’s always something that makes me remember you. It makes me feel like an idiot. Sometimes I wish I’d bump into you in places we used to frequently go to but sometimes I also hope not to because I’m not sure how I’d feel or what I’d do when I see you. Every working day on my way home, I pass by the place that reminds me so much of you. It always leaves a smile on my face but lately, it makes my mouth curve down, too.

4. You’ll always be one of my favorite people. Always. I hope someday, you find it in your heart to forgive me if I, in any way, did you any wrong. I still wish we could be friends. I’d give up anything for a second chance. Damn, I miss you like hell!

5. Thank you and I really hope you’re happy. Well, I know you are. You should be. There’s nothing you want that you can’t have. Nothing you want to do that you can’t do. You’ve got everything and could have anything within your grasp so I hope all your dreams come true.

6. Lastly, I have never said this but yes, I love you. I really do.


If We Were Having Coffee

If we were having coffee…

…I’d tell you I’m surprised that you’re drinking coffee now.

If we were having coffee…

…I’d tell you it’s nice catching up with each other’s lives over a cup of coffee, not beer.

If we were having coffee…

…I’d tell you you have always been the nicest among us three since we were children.

If we were having coffee…

…I’d tell you I’m glad I always share my secrets to you first.

If we were having coffee…

…I’d tell you please take care of yourself, too. You’ve done more than enough for us that you deserve to think about yourself as well.

If we were having coffee…

…I’d tell you you can always count on me, too! I will always be here to listen and support. I’ve got your back! You know that! 🙂

If we were having coffee…

…I’d tell you I love you and I’m so lucky I’ve got you, the best big brother in the whole world! 🙂


Unstoppable: My Life So Far by Maria Sharapova

maria-sharapova-unstoppable-book-cover-2017-0I am not a big fan of Maria Sharapova but I’m a big tennis fan. She won’t even be on my top five favorites but given that she’s one of the hottest tennis players and one of the most popular faces on tour, I am curious to know about her story and thought this book would make me understand why she behaves the way she does. Before reading this, I was already aware of her accomplishments, of the injuries she had and the doping incident which caused her being banned from the circuit. I wasn’t aware, however, of how everything started for her, what drives her to play, what inspires her, what motivates her.

Unstoppable is Maria Sharapova’s memoir. She’s from Russia but moved to the US to train when she was six years old together with her father, in hopes to become a tennis superstar someday as her father believes she will be. She’s won five Grand Slam titles to date. She became an overnight sensation when she beat Serena Williams in the 2004 Wimbledon final as a seventeen year old. The book tells Maria’s share of highs and lows, struggle and success. From winning tournaments and Grand Slams, her rivalry with Serena Williams (it wasn’t much of a rivalry I think since Serena always beat her… well okay, one-sided rivalry?), her shoulder injury and of course, the doping incident.

I wasn’t a big fan of Maria before I read this and still not after, however, I admire her determination more now. It’s good to know and understand her and her journey. She is an accomplished player and definitely have a story of her own to tell.

Whether you’re a tennis fan or not, penned down in simple language with Rich Cohen, this is worth your time reading.

Quotable Quotes:

“As hard as I practice, I have learned that doing nothing is just as important as doing everything.”

“You can’t control what people say about you and what they think about you. You can’t plan for bad luck. You can only work your hardest and do your best and tell the truth. In the end, it’s the effort that matters. The rest is beyond your control.”

“I know what losing does to you. I’d learned its lessons on tennis courts all over the world. It knocks you down but also builds you up. It teaches you humility and gives you strength. It makes you aware of your flaws, which you then must do your best to correct. In this way, it can actually make you better. You become a survivor. You learn that losing is not the end of the world.”

“What sets the great players apart from the good players? The good players win when everything is working. The great players win even when nothing is working even when the game is ugly; that is, when they are not great. Because no one can be great every day. Can you get it done on the ugly days, when you feel like garbage and the tank is empty?”

“There is no perfect justice, not in this world. You can’t control what people say about you and what they think about you. You can’t plan for bad luck. You can only work your hardest and do your best and tell the truth. In the end,it’s the effort that matters. The rest is beyond your control.”

Rating: 4/5 stars


A Six-Word Story

Ain’t afraid to love, just cautious.



Accomplished nothing

since morning. The hen in me’s

just not laying eggs.


Quote of the Week

Rejection is about the other person: it’s a reflection of their mistaken perception. If they don’t want to hang around with you, it’s their loss. Feel sorry for them. They got it wrong. Focus on the ones who made the smart move.

-Owen Fitzpatrick


A Six-Word Story

I didn’t change. My priorities did.


Quote of the Week

Better never means better for everyone… It always means worse, for some.

-Margaret Atwood


A Six-Word Story

Becoming a better me… for me.


Quote of the Week

Your soul has fallen to bits and pieces. Good. Rearrange them to suit yourself.

-Hermanne Hesse


How I Deal with People I Don’t Like

In a perfect world, everyone is nice, cool, caring, mindful. In a perfect world. But then again, we aren’t in a perfect world and imperfections are all around us. There are those whom we just click with right away, some whom we can handle alright, and try as we might, some whom we just don’t care about. And then there are those whom we just don’t get along with, people we just can’t stand and sometimes it’s difficult to know the right way to deal with them.

I’m not quite sure what I’m doing is right but here is how I deal with people I don’t like…

Accepting that I can’t get on with everyone.

The thing is, we definitely aren’t going to like every single person we meet. But not liking someone doesn’t necessarily mean we or them are a bad person. It’s just that we have different opinions or personalities and we just don’t jive. So it’s okay not to like people. The best thing to do, I guess, is just accept it. I don’t need to like everyone (whether at work, in the apartment, etc.) as much as they don’t need to like me, so I’d better go easy on myself. 🙂 I have to accept that I’m not going to like everyone. I can’t change them and they’re probably not trying to be difficult, too.

Identifying what I dislike about the other person.

It’s very important to know what it is exactly we don’t like from a person. So I consider what’s happening and why. It might just be because I don’t like the person because of certain qualities which are socially acceptable but not for me personally and if that’s the case then that is my issue and not the other person’s. In a way, being able to pin-point what puts me off about this person is a way of bettering myself, too.

Releasing the need to be right.

The more I think I am right, the more I struggle dealing with the person I don’t like. So I try to just make my point and walk away. Agree to disagree and try my best not to be judgmental.

Finding common ground.

Sometimes this is difficult but when I look hard enough, I sometimes find some common ground with people I don’t like. It helps to know something we have in common and try to develop it from there instead of focusing on things they do that annoys me.

Checking my expectations.

Sometimes I take a moment to check on myself. I get irritated because the other person doesn’t do what I would do if I were on his situation. Expecting others to do as I’d do almost always leaves me disappointed. We are all different individuals, raised in different ways, believe in different views so we devise ideas and solutions for every situation differently as well. So I guess it’s normal, besides, I also don’t act the way people expect me to all the time either. So I check on my expectations and try to be tolerant of different approaches.

When all else fails, ignore them completely.

Yes. Sometimes, or well, more often, it’s best to just ignore them completely. I do try to avoid them as much as I could until eventually, I can completely ignore them. This isn’t easy when I have to work with these people but in cases where I don’t need to, it’s really not an issue.


How about you my dear readers? How do you deal with people you don’t like? Feel free to write them on the comment section. I’d be glad to learn from you!

Enjoy the day, homo sapiens!


A Six-Word Story

I’m probably not made for anyone.